Page 128 of Tiers of Joy

He kisses me and it starts getting heated. He nips at my neck and I moan. I move but my bump is in the way,

“God damn it.” I complain.

Not deterred Gaige keeps kissing me, working his magic. He caresses my breasts.

“Yes.” I moan.

“Err beautiful, your breasts are leaking.” Gaige states.

“What?” I look down and sure enough there are the wet patches.

“Oh man, the doctor said the colostrum can come in before the baby is born. Jesus! I’m already like a cow with leaky udders.” I cry.

“Esme, you’re beautiful. Even four weeks away from your due date I want you.” He says trying to reassure me.

“Now I hate to upset you but we have pre-natal class in fifteen minutes.” He informs me.

“Oh god! Damn you leaky boobs! We could have got away with it if you had kept yourselves contained!” I chastise my breasts as I walk up the stairs to change.

We walk into the room where all of the other expectant parents are ready and waiting.

“Hi, hi, oh hi!” I say falsely.

I hate these classes. The parents in them all think they are better than us just because they’re married and we’re not. Well also because I may have dropped the doll a couple of times when being taught how to hold the baby and how to bathe the baby. Effectively dolly drowned that day. I tried to perform C-P-R but it was no good, there was no life in her. I start giggling to myself at the memory.

“What’s so funny?” Gaige whispers.

“Just remembering the day I drowned dolly.” I giggle.

“Ahh, yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone try C-P-R on a dolly before. It was so funny when you were doing compression on it and her arm popped off and hit the teacher in the face.” Gaige laughs.

I snort at the memory. We were dismissed that day as the rest of the class looked on in horror.

“Good afternoon moms, dads, surrogates!” The teacher beams as she walks in.

I smile and wave. I swear I see her smile waiver. I think a little bit of her dies seeing us here.

“So today we are learning how to swaddle baby and ways to comfort baby if they’re having a bad night and won’t settle.” She smiles as she informs the class.

“Piece of piss. We totally have this in the bag.” I high five Gaige.

“So you have your babies, now you want to keep their arms down close to their bodies and wrap the blanket nice and snug around the baby. This helps to make the baby feel safe and secure.” She instructs.

“A bit like the straight jackets in a mental institution.” I comment.

All eyes come to me.

“What? It’s true. Their arms are strapped down tight.” I shrug.

I wrap the doll in the blanket and smile at my perfect job. I turn to the teacher.

“Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.” I say cockily.

“Well done Esme. That’s exactly how it should be.” The teacher says with surprise.

She walks off to the couple on our right.

“Not quite Melanie, try this technique.” The teacher advises. When Melanie’s gaze turns to us I smile smugly and scratch my nose with my middle finger.

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