Page 17 of The First Chord

“I can’t let it go, El,” I ground out, staring down at my empty glass. “I can’t let him keep treating her like shit.”

Elliot exhaled slowly, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him lift a finger to the barman. Within seconds two drinks were placed in front of us. I pushed mine away, not sure I’d stop if I drank another.

“I know you like her, Ron,” he said quietly. “But how does she feel about you? Have you had that conversation and you’re just not telling us?”

I shook my head and decided that maybe another sip of brandy might be what I needed. The amber liquid was warm on my tongue and burned when it hit the back of my throat, but it did nothing to quell the uneasiness and nausea in my stomach. I wasn’t sure anything would, other than knowing Amber was free of Jimmy. Was I kidding myself, though? Did she want to be free of him? Were we just friends like I kept telling everyone?

“I’m so fucking confused, El.”

“On how you feel about her?”

“We text each other. We’ve never kissed, held hands, or even mentioned we’re anything more than friends. Yet, I can’t help thinking we are. That we are something amazing, but neither of us have realised it.”

I finally looked at my friend who was watching me carefully. He smiled and pushed his own, untouched drink away.

“You won’t know if you don’t ask her.”

“I’m fucking scared that if I do, I won’t hear the words that I want hear.” Scrubbing a hand over my face, I groaned. “Or maybe I hear them but I’m just a means to an end?”

Elliot frowned and moved on his stool so that he was facing me. “Why would you think that?”

“I’m not exactly a great catch myself, am I?”

He scoffed with a raised eyebrow. “What the hell are you talking about? You’re Ronnie Dwyer, bass player for Warrior Creek. Of course you’re a bloody catch.”

“Don’t humour me, El. We all know I’m the failing project in the band.”

Elliot swivelled around on his stool and poked me in the arm. “What the hell are you talking about? Failing project? What does that mean?”

“Well, think about it. You and Beau are both settled in your lives and have so much to look forward to. I mean, if we finish tomorrow you two could write songs for people, you know there are loads of bands who’d work with you. And look at Joey, he’s got an acting career waiting for him, but what have I got?” I shrugged. “Nothing. This band finishes and so do I.”

“With a few million in the bank. And believe me, we’d have crumbled long before now without you holding us all together. No way are you are failing at anything.”

“Good of you to say.” I shook my head. “Doesn’t mean I want someone to be with me just because I’m rich, though. They’ll soon get fed up watching Star Wars with me.”

Elliot shook his head. “Do not fucking tell her you watch Star Wars. She’ll dump you before you’ve even persuaded her that Jimmy is a prick.”

I laughed, even if it was a little hollow. “She already knows that and still doesn’t think I’m a better bet.”

“Well unless you actually tell her or ask her, you won’t have any idea whether that’s true or not, will you?”

“I guess so.”

He leaned forward and tapped the bar with the flat of his hand. “You know so. Which means, Ron, you need to have a good think about whether you’re going to let that girl go.”

“You’re encouraging me to steal someone else’s wife?” I asked disbelievingly.

“You can’t steal someone who doesn’t want to be taken, Ron. If she wants to go with you, she will.”

My stomach rolled at the thought of what it would feel like to be rejected by Amber and for her to want to stay with Jimmy. Even if she didn’t wantmeI had to get her away fromhim. I could feel the pain in my chest already. It petrified me to think that she might spend the rest of her life with a man that didn’t deserve or respect her.

“Listen,” Elliot said. “You know that I wouldn’t encourage an affair. It’s not something that I would condone but I think this is different.”

“Why? Because I’m your friend it makes it alright?”

He shook his head. “No, because I happen to think Amber deserves to be happy and Jimmy isn’t the man to do that. You, though, Ron, you are.”

Elliot turned and moved the glass to in front of me. “One more for courage, mate. Now,” he said, getting off his stool, “I’m going back to my room to call Belle.” He nodded over to the other side of the room. “Joey is over there talking to some actor bloke and Beau has already gone up, so you’re on your own, mate.”