Page 46 of Falling Too Late

We heard the crunch of gravel and moved to the side of the road, turning to see Jon pulling up behind us.

“Come on.” I took her by the hand and opened the back seat door, letting her slide in first.

Jon drove for a while in silence; not even the radio was on. He glanced in the rearview mirror several times. Wren had laid her head in my lap and tucked her legs underneath her, falling asleep.

“I’m sorry, man. . . I shouldn’t have left her alone with him. I wasn’t thinking.”

“You’re right. You didn’t think,” I whispered back harshly.

I heard the stress of the leather wheel beneath his palms. That’s when I noticed the blood on his knuckles as the streetlamps illuminated the cab.

I sighed heavily, reaching forward carefully to not disturb Wren, and clasped his shoulder. Our eyes connected in the mirror and an understanding passed between us.

“It won’t happen again.” And if I didn’t believe anything Jon had ever said before, this was the one thing I did believe.

Jon came to a stop outside our apartment. Gently, I woke Wren. She mumbled a thank you to Jon and we got out. When she tripped stepping up onto the sidewalk, I scooped her up in my arms and carried her the rest of the way to the door, only setting her down to get the keys out of my pocket.

Once inside, she headed straight to the bathroom. I stood inthe kitchen taking in a deep breath, just glad to have gotten her home. I took a cup down and filled it up, chugging it down before refilling it and setting it on her bedside table.

The room seemed smaller now. We took out the desk that used to be in here and moved it into the living room. One day there was a moving truck in the parking lot, and we watched it, wondering if it was coming or going. It was going. We watched for hours as they hauled stuff out of the apartment and to the dumpster. One of those items was a mattress. Once the truck left, we ran out to it before anyone else could take the mattress. Took it around back and hosed it down with some dish soap, let it dry out in the bathroom. Took turns trying to dry it faster with Ma’s hair dryer.

The bathroom door opened, and I turned to see her in her chosen pj’s. One of my old shirts and basketball shorts. Her hair was tied up and her face was washed clean of the makeup. I took a seat on the bed, pulled my shoes off, and tucked them under the bed. She fell onto the blankets behind me. I glanced over my shoulder at her and she was facedown.

I fought the embarrassment off and spoke up.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” I paused, catching her shoulder gently. She peaked up at me. ??

“It’s fine,” she mumbled into the bed. “It was just my brain being stupid.”??

I shifted on my feet, the awkward feeling growing. I had to say something.??

“Amanda may have mentioned. . .you saw. . .” I paused, not sure how to finish the sentence.??

“Yeah. . .” She burrowed her face deeper into the bed, trying to hide. “I’m sorry. . .I was just looking for you and. . .well, I opened the door and. . .saw.” She rolled over, grabbing the thin pillow and covering her face with it. “I had a flashback to when they. . .forced me to do that.”??

My stomach dropped, and I felt sick. I lowered my head, clutching my hands together.

Wren hadn’t told me in detail what Kevin had done to her, and if I could help it, I didn’t wonder much. I had never known anger like the anger that was instilled in me at the knowledge that she had been violated every day while living just next door to me.

After she came home from the hospital, she wouldn’t talk to me much. She just wanted to sleep.

So, we let her sleep.

Occasionally, we would get lost in talking about memories, and something would slip out. I would do my best to not react. Not make a face or show her how angry it made me.??

When I failed at concealing my feelings, I had to tell her over and over again that it wasn’t at her. It was at him.

Sometimes I didn’t think she believed me.

“Are you mad at Jon?”

“No, Jon and I are good.” I stood.

“What about you and Chance?”

I paused in the middle of pulling off my shirt. “Why do you ask?”

She pulled the pillow down and stared up at the ceiling. “Because he’s your friend, and it’s not his fault. He doesn’t know.” She brushed her hand under her eyes. “It was just me being dumb. Guys kiss girls at parties. It’s normal. I’m just. . . I’m just not ready. I don’t think I will ever be ready.”

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