Page 47 of Falling Too Late

“Chance is not my friend. He never was and never will be. He’s just a pest that followed Jon around all the time, and after the shit he pulled tonight, I better never see him again.” I finished pulling off my shirt. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

I took my time. Letting the hot water run down me. My split knuckles burned and I watched the water turn pink around my feet. I thought about Dad and Ma and the love I witnessed growing up. It made me sad to think that Wren may never let herself experience that kind of love.

The thought hit me hard.

I didn’t want justanyoneto be the one who showed Wren what love could be like.

That was something only I wanted to do. I wanted to shower her in affection. I wanted to be the one who took care of her.

I wanted to be her first kiss.

I tortured myself with these thoughts, but then something else hit me, making the blood run cold in my veins.

They. . .forced me to do that. . .

They.

It wasn’t just Kevin who raped Wren.

I couldn’t sleep. Wren was dead to the world, her body pressed up against the wall. Faintly, I could hear her soft snores. Usually, I would listen to her sleep sounds and eventually I would fall asleep too.

But not tonight.

The events of the party ran through my head over and over again. Her words.

At this moment, I didn’t feel like I knew anything about her.

There was so much about the hell she lived in that I didn’t know. I always thought that maybe one day she would open up and tell me in her own time. I never wanted to pressure her into telling me anything. My curiosity didn’t matter, only her comfort.

Sighing, I slipped out of bed, replacing my body with my pillow in hopes that she wouldn't wake in my absence. Slipping on the first T-shirt I grabbed, I got a cup of water from the kitchen and went outside, sitting at the base of the stairs. It was in the early morning and I had been lying in bed wide awake for a few hours.

I ran both my hands through my hair, resting my elbows on my knees and staring down at the cracked concrete.

Soon, the birds would be chirping and it would be a new day, but I was still stuck in yesterday.

“What are you doing out here?”

Ma’s voice startled me. If I had a watch, I would look at it. It was too early for her to be home.

“I could say the same to you.” She raised a brow at me, and I laughed, putting my hands up. “Just jokin’, Ma.”

She pursed her lips and hummed. “Mhm, that’s what I thought. Now, answer me, young man.”

I let my head hang. “I messed up.”

“Oh no. Not my perfect son.” I could hear the sarcasm in her voice as she leaned against the stair railing. “What did you do?”

My cheeks flushed and I stayed silent. I wasn’t going to tell her about Amanda and what Wren saw. I scrubbed my hands down my face and groaned. There were just some things Ma didn’t need to know.

“I. . .started to let myself think that Wren and I could be. . .more than friends.” I hesitated.

“Oh, sweetie.” I felt her hand on the top of my head. She tugged at my hair, forcing me to look up at her. “I know Wren has been your lifeline these last eight months, and I’m not surprised you developed some feelings for her. Have you told her how you feel?”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to mess up what we have. I don’t want to rush her or make her feel pressured or ruin anything. Her friend at school teased her the other day about us and she kind of had a come apart on her. Saying how she would never date anyone.”

“Well, I can’t say I blame her.” Her words had me curling in on myself. Like even thinking we could have more was wrong given what she’d been through. “Alexander, you had an amazing role model.” Her hand dropped to my face and cupped my cheek. Her rough thumb brushed it softly. “Your father loved you and I with everything in him, and he loved hard. We were all he wanted in this world, and he showed it to us every day.” Her face fell. “Wren has not experienced that kind of love. She has experienced some of the most vile people on this planet. If she never dates,never falls inthatkind of love with someone, I hate to say it, but I understand why.”

“I wish she felt like she could talk to me about what happened. She has told me some things here and there, but not everything.”

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