Page 46 of Acts of Contrition

Did … I pee? It doesn’t feel like that but… Hell, my mind can barely think a coherent thought. I’m dizzy, heady with endorphins. And now it’s beginning to hurt. I’ve had a lot of men in me, more than ten in a day, but I never exerted myself like this.

Thomas changes the pulsations and I whine.

“Something the matter, little sinner?” he asks.

I manage to look at him again, sitting there with a clear bulge in his pants, once again with a look on his face like he’s a lion and I’m a bleeding gazelle. This man would and will devour me if I let him.

“Too much,” I whine.

“Oh, no, my dear fiancée. It’s not too much yet.”

He increases the speed of the pulses and I can’t keep quiet as the time passes. I can’t count how long it is, or how many orgasms are forced out of my spent body.

I was silent for various beatings and whippings. But this? It’stoo much. Didn’t health class once say certain emotions get unleashed during post-orgasm?

I feel it. I feel everything, each time Thomas forces me to come. Everything I repressed, everything I endured, every unspoken prayer and every wish for death. They all come bursting out of me alongside my orgasms and I can’t handle it all.

This unleashed all my demons at once, every hidden emotion, and I can’t take it as I cry and scream and curse. Especially my fear. My fear that Mike will find me again. That even Thomas and this whole cult can’t protect me.

It all flows out of me until I am incoherent, desperate, an utter, true, broken mess on the mattress.

He did it.

Thomas promised me he’d break me, and I think he finally did.

Chapter Eighteen

Diana

IT’S WARM, NICE and warm. My body feels limp and loose, as if every muscle has been released from the constant tension for the past seven years since Dad died.

I open my eyes and realize I’m in the bathtub; my favorite lavender bubble bath has been poured in, and the water soothes my aching muscles. I still feel weak and weepy, however.

“You’re awake,” Thomas says from where he’s sat, perched on the closed toilet seat. “Your bed has been changed. As soon as you want to get out of here, I will help you.”

I just shake my head; I don’t know if I can speak. I feel … I don’t know. Empty. Full. Weak. Powerful. Broken. Whole, for the first time.

“Diana, I need you to listen to me,” he says, his voice low and grave.

I turn to face him.

“The pain of the forced orgasms, the hormones released, the repressed emotions you brought forth … it was a lot,” he says. “And I don’t know how much more I can do for you.

“Little dove, you let yourself go this evening. You unleashed everything you could not speak. And in doing so, you were so beautiful. So broken. So fragile. Breaking you was exactly the cathartic experience I’d expected it would be, for both of us.”

Cathartic. Is … is that the word I’m looking for?

He brushes wet hair from my face and I don’t flinch this time, which makes him smile. “It’s been six weeks, little dove. Far, far quicker than Father Oliver told me to expect for the final breaking to happen, for ascension to begin. I think you wanted this, needed it, as much as I did.”

I don’t answer. Did I want it? Need it?

“I think you wanted all of this, but especially to know you can have a true, pure release, unburdening your soul and your body,” he continues. “But I need to hear that from you. I understand you need to sleep on this. Rest. Decipher your emotions. Pray on it should you see fit.

“You have a choice now, Diana. There is little more I can do for you after tonight. The rest is in your hands. I can free you, little dove. But you must willingly give yourself to me first. Let me free you.”

“I can’t…” My voice is hoarse from screaming, and I clear my throat. “I can’t be free whilehelives.”

Thomas’ eyes narrow. “Make the proper choice, and you never have to worry about that evil creature again. I promise you this as your husband.”

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