Page 101 of Enemies in Paradise

I think I wantBear.

I park in the alleyway behind the shop and stare at the door to the studio. I haven’t even left, but I already miss living in the cramped space. If Willy wasn’t waiting for me, I couldn’t resist the temptation to drive to Bear’s and stay there for the night. And not just because I’d love to sit in that tub again.

What I’d really like is to quiet the feeling that I’m a ship without a rudder being blown out to sea, unmoored with no compass and no direction.

Just thinking about Bear anchors me. My brain stops spinning. My lungs open. I can breathe.

A buzzing in my purse pulls me back to reality. I take it out and, as though he knows I’m thinking about him, Bear’s name appears on the screen.

I open the message and smile as I read it.

Thank you. I came by to tell you in person, but you weren’t there.I hope you’re okay.

Probably a good thing I wasn’t here. Not with all the crazy emotions I’ve run through in the past couple of hours.

Just because IwantBear doesn’t mean he’s what I need. Or that I’m what he needs. Especially because, without me in the way, he can have his pond. The Thomsens will have a piece of Heidi when she’s gone. A little corner of Paradise will stay the same, even with everything changing around it.

The truth is, I’m not a good fit for any of them—Bear, the Thomsens, or Paradise. I’m an LA girl and a cop. It’s time to go back to being that person. Tomorrow, I’ll pack—it won’t take long—and head back to LA.

Except…I still haven’t picked up the last of my clothes from Bear’s. I was so focused on my presentation and trying not to think about him, I forgot.

So my idea of leaving without seeing him again won’t work. I should feel a lot worse about that than I do. But my heart grows lighter knowing I have to see him again.

I text back:You can thank me tomorrow. Could you bring my laundry by in the morning? I have good news for you.

Bear:Are you home yet?

I grab my purse and slide out of the car, wondering why he asked, until I walk through the door.

You already brought my laundry,I type. If there’s such a thing as a disappointed laugh, that’s the sound I make.

Bear:I did. Can I still come by in the morning?

My pulse skips.I should say no. I should say no. I should say no.

Me:Sure.

Bear:What’s the good news?

Me:You’ll find out tomorrow.

Bear:I hate surprises.

Willy meow-barks as I type my response.And, as you’ve pointed out, I love to torture you.

Bear:Ha.

Three dots appear, and I stare at my phone, waiting for Bear’s message to replace them, but Willy gets my attention first by hooking his claws into my pants and shin.

“Ouch! Willy!” I set down my phone and unhook him from my leg.

I take enough time to give him fresh food and water before grabbing my phone again. Dots gone, message visible, heart pounding.

Bear:I’ll bring breakfast. Ebelskiver? Bacon? Coffee?

Me:All the above.

Bear:Obviously.

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