Page 107 of Christmas in Paradise

He shakes his head and fights a smile while I bite back my own grin. “You feel good about that joke?”

I nod. “Maybe not my best work, still pretty good.”

“Come here.” He puts his arm around my waist and pulls me in for a kiss. “I’ll see you after my big debut as Seb, the Scared Sheepless Shepherd?”

“Probably. If all this fame doesn’t go to your head, and you forget me.” I raise a warning eyebrow.

His face goes soft. “I already tried to forget you once, Hope. It’s not possible.”

Charly tugs on his fake beard, and I straighten it for him, stealing a kiss in the process. Then I kiss the top of Charly’s head just as the director calls for quiet on the set.

I go back to pews up front just as Pastor Ruth reads the first lines from Luke about Jesus’ birth. I slide in next to Dad who pats my knee.

“Everything good?” he asks.

“I think so, Dad. I think so.” I lean closer to him and watch as a girl younger than I am lays a newborn baby in what’s supposed to be a manger.

And it gives me all the feels. Because I know what it’s like to be young and overwhelmed with the task of raising a kid. Obviously, Mary had a much bigger job than I do, but she was still a mom. I wonder if she questioned herself as often as I do or hoped she was getting it right, just like I do.

“You know,” Dad leans in to whisper to me. “The way we tell this story isn’t really accurate.”

“What do you mean?”

Dad used to be a youth pastor, so he knows his Bible, and I’ve never heard him say anything like this before.

“They were likely staying with relatives, not in search of an inn like we think of them,” he whispers with his eyes on the stage where Charly is crawling and baaing with Seb close behind. “There may not have been room in the family area of the house, so they stayed below with the animals, which were kept in the house or nearby cave, not a separate stable.”

“Really?” I look at him, wondering why I’ve never heard this version before.

“And Mary would have had help from the women there to deliver baby Jesus, if she wanted it. She would have been surrounded by people. She was part of a community who loved her.” He smiles at me, then points to the stage. “I think you and Charly have found that here.”

His words are so unexpected that tears pop into my eyes before I can stop them. “Maybe we have. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” I choke out the words, past the huge lump in my throat.

“You will. Wherever you land, you’ll have people who love you.” He pats my knee again, I lay my head on his shoulder, and he lays his head on mine.

We watch Charly, then clap for her, Seb, and the rest of the cast. Mom, though, cheers loudly, even calling Charly’s name. And I love her for it.

It’s going to break her heart if we don’t go back to Kansas, and as much as I love everyone in Paradise, I know they won’t take care of Charly and me the way Mom does.

Except for Seb. I think he might.

And now, I’m right back in the middle of the question whirlpool, spinning in circles with no way out.

Well, one way out.

I need to talk my questions out with Seb. There’s no way around him being a factor in my decision, so I’ve got to tell him what I’m feeling. Then I’ve got to decide what’s best for Charly and me.

“I’ll get Charly,” I say to my parents when the nativity is over. “Be right back.”

I walk to the back rooms to find Charly and Seb. It takes a minute to work my way through the groups of people picking up their kids who were in the play or congratulating the other actors on their performances. It’s chaotic and crowded and people whose names I barely know wave and tell me how much they're loving Yulefest.

That feels good.

When I finally reach Seb and Charly, my cheeks hurt from smiling. Charly is still pretending she’s a sheep, circling Seb’s feet, and baaing, while Seb slips out of his shepherds costume to reveal jeans and a t-shirt underneath. As usual, the tree tattoo peeks from under his sleeve.

I haven’t seen much of it since the Mistletoe Inn night when he explained it to me. He’s always in long sleeves. But it’s a reminder now of what family means to him.

Everything.

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