Page 37 of Fallen Roses

He tugs me to him and kisses me hard and fast, not caring that our mouths are filled with his heavy release and as he holds my hair tight and punishes my mouth, I swear I’m loving every dirty second of this.

CHAPTER 20

JAMES

I’m ashamed of myself. I behaved like a monster and punished Ana for something I had no control over in my past. She didn’t deserve that. I hate who I was and yet she pushed me to the limit, and I demonstrated exactly why I am better off alone.

As I hold her, I bury my face against her neck and whisper, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She nuzzles my chest and presses a light kiss on my skin, a simple act that makes me hold on a little tighter.

“Can you forgive me?”

“No.” She pulls back and stares deep into my eyes and says with determination.

“I want you to tell me your story, James, and not the official one. I want the one that caged you in hell, and I don’t want you to spare the details.”

The fierce expression she directs my way causes me to smile, and she raises her eyes. “What’s so funny?”

“You actually.”

I stroke her face lightly and say huskily, “You should be running for the door and instructing your brother to finish the job. Why are you still here?”

“I don’t know.”

She shrugs. “Perhaps it’s because I like you, despite everything.”

“Like me?” I raise my eyes. “You’re a fascinating woman, Ana.”

“I am.” She grins and shifts off my lap and reaches for the discarded t-shirt.

“Okay. Truth time and you have until I’ve made us coffee to work out your story.”

She winks as she pads off in one direction and I say with amusement, “The kitchen is the other way.”

“Oh, um, thanks.” Her soft giggle does something strange to my heart, and as she disappears through the door, I lean back against the couch.

She wants my story.

I hope she’s a fan of horrors because it’s not exactly light reading.

With a sigh, I head into my bedroom and pull a pair of sweatpants out of the closet. If I’m going to bare my soul, I may as well try to make it decent.

When I head inside the living area, my gaze drops to the couch and the image of Ana on her knees in front of me brings a soft smile to my lips. She looks good here inmy apartment. I can’t decide if I like her bound and spread out for my pleasure, on her knees with my cock down her throat, or wearing my t-shirt and making me coffee.

I don’t deserve any of it. I don’t deserve her and I’m still wondering why she is still here. It’s why I unleash my proclivities on the women at the club. My mask remains in place and they get what they crave. Ana isn’t of that world. She is innocent; she said so herself and yet she’s still here. That’s something good at least.

She heads back, holding two mugs of steaming coffee in her hand, and something shifts inside me. It’s as if this moment is the most intimate one we’ve shared, despite everything else we’ve done. Seeing her in my home, moving around it with an easy acceptance, tugs on what is passing for my heart these days.

She approaches and her hesitant smile is like a dart to my heart, striking it when it’s at its most vulnerable and as I take the coffee and smile my thanks, she slips onto the couch beside me and wraps her hands around the mug, her lashes sweeping against her cheeks as she gazes at me with curiosity.

“I told you about my upbringing.” I begin, hating stirring up painful memories but knowing I need this. I can’t move past them if they still affect me, and I’m ashamed of losing control around Ana.

“Well, it was tough being the kid that nobody wanted because my brother was wild. We came as a package and so a normal life was denied to us both. We shiftedbetween foster homes until we were old enough to take control of our own lives and Dylan, as expected, headed straight for a job in a sleazy bar and I attended college in Washington.”

“How did you afford it?” Ana appears riveted to my story and I steel myself for what comes next.

“I was sponsored.”

---