Page 36 of Fallen Roses

“There’s more?”

His dull laugh is like a dart piercing my heart. He seems so cold, distant even and I whisper, “You were never intended to be involved. When I met you in the bar that night, it was exactly what it became. A fuck. You see, back in Russia, I’m allowed no freedom at all. Any men are carefully screened and our dates watched bysecurity. The only sexual experiences I had were when I managed to escape my guards and slip into the shadows of clubs in disguise.”

I squeeze his fingers hard and whisper, “It wasn’t right. Nobody ever gave me what I was searching for. Sex was well, boring and I couldn’t see what all the fuss was about so I stopped looking. When I learned of The Rose Foundation, I volunteered for the job and arranged to arrive a day earlier than planned. My cover story meant I was required to travel independently, and that night was the one shot I had at being free. Mikhail was due to arrive the day after, and I knew his guards would be shadowing me. That was my night, James. The one shot I had, and I found you.”

I grip his face and turn it to mine and my voice quivers as I whisper, “Please don’t hate me. I wasn’t faking any of this—not with you. If it ends now, I will still consider it my most precious memory because you taught me an invaluable lesson. You taught me how beautiful sex can be and somehow, I’m guessing that’s because it was sex with you.”

“I don’t hate you, Ana.”

His eyes burn into me and he reaches out and tugs my lips toward his and as they claim mine, my heart swells. His kiss sears me inside and scorches my soul. Our tongues clash and our bodies lean toward one another as if there is an invisible chain between us.

As he grips my face in his hand and deepens the kiss, I forget everything but how much I want him.

I’m surprised when he pulls away and exhales sharply, leaning back against the couch as he reaches for his glass.

“I can’t switch off my anger, Ana.”

“Then don’t.”

I can’t believe what I’m thinking and stand, lifting the t-shirt off in one move, standing before him in nothing but my tattered dignity.

“You like to dominate, to control. Take your anger and use it on me.”

“You want me to hurt you?”

He raises his eyes and as he shakes his head, I drop down to my knees before him and say softly, “No, I want to see how far you’ll go.”

I gingerly touch my throbbing neck and sigh. “You demonstrated a little of the pain inside you, and now I want you to let it all out. Show me what’s inside and let me decide if I can handle it or not.”

I reach for his hands and implore him with my eyes.

“Please, James. Finish what you started because we may not have another chance.”

He stares at me for the longest moment and I watch the darkness deepen in his eyes. I can tell there is something cruel inside him that colors his actions and I whisper, “What is it James? Tell me who hurt you.”

His hand reaches out and grips my neck, thrusting it up, snapping my head back in one sharp motion and his eyes blaze as he hisses, “Do you want to know who hurtme? Who made me this monster? You couldn’t deal with the horror of my life.”

“Show me.” I say through gritted teeth.

“No.”

His voice is needy, rasping, and emotional. He is struggling to keep something hidden and I should be very afraid right now.

“Show me.” I hiss and before I can react, he wrenches me over his knee and slams his hand down hard on my ass. Pain blurs my vision as he roars, his anger spilling into the air as if he has uncaged his soul.

My ass is on fire as he hauls me around and wraps his arms tightly around me, clinging on and stroking my hair as he holds me steadily against his chest. I feel his heart beating frantically against my cheek and share his pain in my soul.

Carefully, I pull back and smooth my hand across his face, leaning in and impulsively kissing his lips as I whisper, “It’s okay.”

I note the brightness in his eyes as he struggles to regain control and I drop to the floor between his legs, gripping his hard cock in my hands and bending toward it to distract his mind.

“Ana, you don’t–” He makes to speak, but I shake my head and slide his cock deep into my throat and suck him hard. His fingers tangle in my hair as he pushes in deeper, his groan echoing inside my battered heart.

The only sound in the room is the gentle slurping as I suck him dry, intent on only one thing. Giving himpleasure and driving the demons away. My ass is on fire, but so is my resolve because there is something he isn’t telling me. He is keeping his demons locked in a cage and they are destroying him from within.

As he dominates my mouth, he is also dominating my thoughts because right now I would do anything to help him. I don’t know why. It’s as if something is telling me this is important to me and it’s like I’m wrestling a bear, unsure if I will even survive.

His feral roar is followed by a steady stream of cum that lashes down my throat, choking me as I attempt to swallow, his cock still rigid inside my mouth. I have never done anything like this before and gag as he fills me entirely. He grips my hair and pushes in deeper, forcing it down my throat as I struggle for air and at the point when I don’t think I can breathe, he pulls out and I gasp, taking in a huge rush of air as his cum leaks from my mouth.

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