Page 20 of Monsters of Desire and Nightmares of Passion

4

Khal

Getting separated from Draw and Mrez hurts. It hurts so bad I can barely breathe. Luckily, I don’t need to breathe to exist. I do breathe, but it’s more for smell than for air. We don’t need air.

I was not the first, so I’ve never been alone. I appeared from Draw’s mind one day. I’m selfish, hungry, and I can’t define myself other than my love for that one, the one whom I refused to tell my name. Lisa was my future. Her desperation to have a guide to protect her from what she saw, to put order into her chaos, called to me like a beacon, or like a damn pizza service.

As I close my eyes, I project myself into the hospital room where Lisa is screaming. She smells delicious, like pastry and barbecue. She keeps screaming, her eyes locked on a spot on the wall.

“Girl, please. Your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Just stop. I have a proposal.”

Lisa doesn’t even look at me. This is like trying to attract someone’s attention to a newspaper when all the tabs are open on their computer. I need to touch her. My fingers, at least the fingers from two of my hands, wrap around her skull. The energy, the little bit I still have, slips inside her brain. Humans who develop the insight have brains that pick up the wrong channel. Imagine picking up all the channels at once with loud flickering images, all of them painful and colored in bright shades, non-stop, twenty-four hours a day seven days a week, with no break.

My hands warm as I feed off the girl.

“Hey.” Her voice is but a whisper

“Hey. Lisa, right?” I stand behind her so she can’t see me.

“The meds you just gave me are the bomb. It’s the first time in months I can hear my own thoughts. Are you my new doctor, or something like that?”

“Or something like that?” I clear my throat. “Let’s go with that.”

“Okay.”

“Lisa, I have a proposal for you. How would you like to always be this way? You’d have a clear mind. You could focus on things and, more importantly, you would never be afraid anymore.”

“Fuck, yes. I’ll take it. Just please give me the meds.”

“I need you to be calm. I want to show myself to you.”

My face isn’t that scary. Still, it’s the way things had to be done. The ones who are not of our bloodline but who have the sight need to be presented with our real face in order to sign the contract. Red eyes, sharp teeth, a mouth that is too long, and tendrils of darkness surround me as I watch her from the corner of the room.

“I’ve seen worse,” she replies with a half-smile. “So, what you’re saying is that you are what, the devil, and you’re going to offer me some sort of contract?”

I laugh. Lisa has a sense of humor.

“No, nothing that big. I’m a shadow. You have what we call the sight. Your brain catches glimpses of things you should not see because you’re not prepared to see them. Normal humans never see beyond the veil of their own reality, but you do. In exchange for my protection, I will feed on your energy. You’ll have to see me now and then.”

“Yeah, shit, you’re ugly. I don’t care. I’d do anything to be able to walk out of this damn place. Absolutely anything. I don’t want to be a prisoner of my own mind anymore.”

For the first time since I saw Lisa, she looked her age. I read her chart. She’s only seventeen. Her entire life could be wonderful.

“Okay, deal. I can’t get you out now, but you can sleep. I’ll be here keeping you safe.”

I remember when I slept with Ivy the first time. Just slept, holding my hands on her head, making sure her nightmares were pushed away, and that we were the only ones who visited her dreams.

Two of my hands rest on Lisa’s head. I feed, feeling like myself for the first time in ages.

After the hunger stops consuming me, I feel something else. I feel like scum, like a piece of garbage for leaving not only my best friends and my coven, but also the woman whom all three of us loved.

I glance down at Lisa. Her eyes are closed in a peaceful slumber. Still, her sweet pink energy has a disgusting aftertaste I can’t push away. It’s exactly what I wanted, right? A human to protect. As much energy as I could eat. And she will be my anchor. It’ll be easy to make her agree to everything.

Again, I see Draw and Mrez, and already feel a hole inside me. Damn fuckers.

I can’t leave this girl. Waiting for Ivy, for our one, is a waste of time no matter how much we want her to remember us. She was the one, our soul mate, our anchor. Yet she can’t remember one thing about us, about the time we spent together. What was it doing to us, to hope and then be broken into pieces and disappear into nothing?

I sit next to Lisa. With her, I feel strong, so strong I could have taken material form in the real world if I chose. We’re not pale ghosts. We are shadows. We exist based on human belief in us. When we have that and the ability to feed, we are as strong as ten mortal men.

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