Page 19 of Monsters of Desire and Nightmares of Passion

Repeating “not real” to myself as I finish checking out, I bag my groceries and walk home. The cool air helps clear my mind.

As I enter my apartment, a new text message flickers over the screen. It’s from Joshua, aka Dr. Martin.

Can I walk you to work?

“Powder, what do you think? Should we allow the doctor to rescue me? I could be the damsel in distress.”

I make another tea and fed Powder.

“No? You’re right. It feels weird to have him walk over and pick me up as if I’m a child. I’ll be fine, right?”

I take my phone and text back.

Thank you for offering, but I live close by

.

The water boils and the teapot hisses as I make myself a green yogurt with bananas, honey, and cinnamon. The phone blinks again. Oh, God. What now?

Are you sure? I mean, I’d feel better if I could walk you to work.

I type, “No, I’m not five. I don’t need a nanny.” Before I could send it, I delete it.

“He’s just tried to be kind, right, Powder?

Powder ignores me in favor of fresh cat food.

I pour hot water over the loose tea and, with both the teacup and bowl, head for my reading chair. There’s still at least two hours of reading time left before I must head to work. Before allowing myself to forget about anything and everything, I send a polite text to the doc letting him know that I’ll be okay, and he doesn’t need to pick me up. The only reply from him was:

See you later, then. ?

That’s okay. I have my book and need to know what’s going to happen next. I’m on a biker romance trip. Closing my eyes, I picture how it’d feel to ride a huge motorcycle, my arms wrapped around a sexy man. Or Draw.

Damn, no. I was afraid of him for so long and now, bit by bit, I’m starting to see things differently. I love bad guys in romances because they’d set the world ablaze to save the one they love. My mind is open to the existence of dragons, werewolves, and vampires. So why can’t I accept that maybe, just maybe, Draw, Mrez, and Khal are real in their own way? Maybe the world of my dreams is real, a parallel dimension that allows me glimpses into it.

Powder meows and rubs his small body against my ankles.

“Is that idea so crazy after all?”

Powder ignores me, but I feel a compelling need to hear my own voice.

“What if Draw is real? Is that weirder than vampires or other creatures I read about?”

I push back my hair back and chew on my short nails, a habit I’ve had so long as I can remember. With all the courage I can muster, I walk toward the bathroom mirror. The guys appear when I walk by mirrors or windows.

“Hey, where are you? If you’re real, talk to me.”

My fingers grab onto the edge of the sink. I’m afraid of what will happen. I feel as if I might throw up.

“Draw, if you’re real, show yourself.”

My eyes hold my own gaze. The longer I look at myself in the mirror, the weirder it seems. First, I notice the red spot in my hairline. That will become a zit soon enough. Second, the small black dots on my nose. Releasing the cool sink, I try to squeeze them.

“This is nuts. It makes no fucking sense. The guys are figments of my imagination.”

I turn my back to the bathroom mirror and change into a clean set of scrubs, but not before petting Powder and making sure that he has fresh water and a bowl filled with food.

My phone beeps again. This time it’s Pegg, asking if I need a ride. I tell her no thanks, but she asks if I’m sure. Ugh. How many times is she going to ask me the same damn shit again and again? Yes, I’m damn sure. I’m fine. And yes, I freaking know what I’m doing when I try to summon monsters inside my bathroom mirror.

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