The thought ofhooking up with someone that Andy had hooked up before made my skin crawl and my jaw tighten. I was definitely not getting within ten feet of whoever he had already messed around with, and although I wanted to tell myself it was out of sheer pettiness, I was pretty sure it wasn’t the truth. Not the full of it anyway.

The truth was a messier, more complicated beast that I didn’t want to look at.

Especially after telling Andy that Imightwant to try something out with a guy.

Which was why I went to dance with Nina, the tall, smirking blonde with a wicked glint in her eyes that reminded me way too much of the guy I was trying to forget.

She was nice, as far as I could tell. Very forward, stared me up and down, making my skin itch with something that I hadn’t felt in a long time, a thrill–but my heart wasn’t in it.

And it wasn’t supposed to be. I wasn’t here for a relationship or anything of the sort, this was supposed to be an uncomplicated hookup, damn it.

But my dick wasn’t in it either.

Because every inch of me was all too aware of exactly where Andy was, even if I wanted to be irritated with him and his intimidation games. I was aware of every inch of air separatingus, tension radiating between us like a physical thing even from all the way down here, a tension that had been building over the past couple of days, and if I was honest, the past fewyearssince we’d known each other.

It felt like the upcoming dread of a delayed, avoided realization.

One that told me that secretly, Iknewwhy I wasn’t interested in Nina when I should have been. When she was my type, gorgeous, and not looking for a relationship to boot.

The truth was–maybe I did know why Andy had always made me squirm. Made my stomach tighten. Made my chest fill up with fluttering wings, made merestless.

Maybe I was aware of why I’d had the urge to not tell him I wasn’t interested when he suggested I do something with a guy, when he’d clearly only been trying to rile me up.

Maybe there was a reason why my eyes kept treacherously traveling to his lips.

Maybe the tingling sensations that Andy had always awoken inside me hadn't only been hatred.

The way he looked at me always lit me up. It made me feel like I was about to burst out of my skin, like I could feel the phantom weight of fingers everywhere he looked, like I wanted to move, like I wanted to do something, like I wanted to reach out–

Like I wanted to take hold of him. Press my back to his front. Lean into his touch.

Like maybe, just maybe, I wanted his stupid mouth on my own.

What?

It seemed insane. Impossible. It made no sense.

And yet I couldn’t deny that all the while he had been talking to me about my potential hookups and what we might do, as much as at first I had imagined a woman, the vision had quickly shifted to show him instead of them.

Andy, on his knees, staring up at me like he wanted to eat me.

Andy, hands pushing me down, and helping me reciprocate.

The visuals were so vivid and had such a visceral reaction on me as I thought of it now, my dick became hard as a rock in my pants.

The reaction was both shocking and electrifying in its intensity.

It threatened to bring in a whole new crisis, a whole host of feelings that I didn’t think I was ready for.

I didn't know if Nina had noticed, or if she just wasn't much for foreplay, but quickly, she put a hand by her mouth and whispered in my ear that if I followed her into the bathroom—one that Andy had told me wasn’t being used by the public, only by the select few favored regulars—we could have a whole lot more fun than out here.

This was where I did it.

This was where I finally took this step. Where I became thenewDan, and not the one too hung up on his failings to be anything worthwhile.

Only I was hesitating.

I was thinking of pale blue eyes, their intense gaze, and the guy whose smirk always managed to rile me up. The outrageous player that always pushed my buttons, tried to intimidate me, tried to extinguish the space between us. My fucking nemesis.