Page 39 of The Pilot & the Athlete

As soon as he shut the door behind them, she turned into his arms and hugged him fiercely. He closed his eyes, savoring each second.

“Paul.” She pulled back slightly. “I’ve had way too much time to think over the past five days.”

He half-laughed at that, but his nerves made his throat tight and his pulse race. “I know how that goes. What have you thought?”

“I was upset at you.”

“I understand.” His arms softened around her.

“Let me finish. So salty.” She smiled, but then she backed away and his fears grew. He wanted to do the right things for the right reasons, but he didn’t want to lose her.

She wrapped her arms around herself and she suddenly looked frail and exhausted. “I was upset that you didn’t tell anyone where Carrie had gone and that you didn’t tell Darian the truth, but I can understand that he wouldn’t talk to you.”

He nodded.

“I can forgive you, Paul. You shouldn’t have emailed her every day for a year, but I can understand you thought it was as friends and it’s not like I’ve never made mistakes. How could you have known that Carrie would crash and die? You couldn’t have. You were embarrassed and she threw herself at you and tried to get you to love her and betray your friend. It was an accident, and you weren’t at fault, Paul.”

Paul blinked at her. His parents, the pastors, even the sheriff had tried to convince him it wasn’t his fault that she died or that Darian blamed him and hated him. Maybe he could’ve prevented her death by following her or getting ahold of Darian after she left his house, but they didn’t know that. Shay saying these words felt like a breakthrough, a ray of sunshine, the light at the end of the tunnel. He hadn’t caused Carrie’s death. Shay was forgiving him. God had let his forgiveness be known days ago, in this very room. Paul knew he should’vetrusted in God’s forgiveness sooner, but it felt incredible to have Shay’s forgiveness, his own forgiveness, and now heaven forgave him.

“Thank you,” he managed.

“Have you forgiven yourself?” she asked.

“I’ve prayed for forgiveness and to put it behind me, but I hadn’t really forgiven myself. When I prayed in this room, for Turner and for you and for us all to forgive and feel forgiveness, I had peace wash over me. I have forgiven myself, Shay.”

“I’m so glad.” She sniffled and a tear slid down her smooth cheek.

Paul couldn’t resist easing closer to her. She blinked up at him, sweet and forgiving. He didn’t know if he deserved her forgiveness, but he’d prayed for it and it had been granted.

He bent and kissed the tear, tasting the salt and the sweetness of her skin. She sighed, unfolded her arms, and leaned into him. He gathered her close.

She sniffled again.

“Shay,” he said. “I have to go to Darian and share everything.”

“I know.” She blinked up at him. “The problem is, Darian is so bitter at you. What you’ve shared with me is going to make it worse, not better.”

He acknowledged that with a nod. He rested his face against her silky hair and wondered if he was strong enough to keep his distance if that’s what she needed.

“Shay,” he whispered, easing back to look at her eyes. “I don’t want to tear your family apart.”

“Neither do I.”

“If Darian and I can’t sort it out, if he can’t forgive me …” He swallowed and forced himself to say it, to do the right thing for the right reason. “I’ll keep my distance from you, even if it tears me apart.”

“Paul Braven,” she shot angrily at him, yanking away from his arms. “That is cap.”

“Cap?”

“A lie. You’re lying to me and to yourself. If you don’t care about your girl, then keep your distance. If you feel a fraction of what I feel for you, you’ll fight Darian and anyone else who tries to pull us apart.”

Paul stared into her teal eyes, fierce with determination. She was a world-class athlete, and it showed in her bravery, confidence, and resolve.

He stepped in and wrapped his palms around her warm shoulders. “Shay … I don’t know how deeply you feel for me, but I offered to stay away because I love you so much I can’t stand the thought of hurting you. I want you to be my girl and I will fight anyone who tries to pull us apart.”

Had he just admitted he loved her?

Shay blinked at him, licked her lips, blinked again, and then she crashed into him. “You love me?”

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