Page 26 of Before You Say Goodbye

They were warm and kind and welcoming. The most unique and interesting collective Autumn had ever met. She’d known from the very beginning that Bluebell was eccentric. Bowie had seemed somewhat more conventional, but only somewhat. Meeting their family made everything clear to her. The Whittles were on a spectrum of strange. They clearly adored one another and that made her like them even more. Autumn wondered if Emma and Ben knew what a wonderful family unit they had created. One in which their children were able to really be themselves. To express themselves fully. She wondered if it had been intentional.

On cue, Emma threw her hands up in surrender.

“Oh, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right. Autumn, I apologise in advance if we do or say anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. We’re all very close and extremely open. Not everyone is OK with that. If we get too much for you, do feel free to shut us up. We won’t be offended.”

“I fucking will be.” Bluebell announced this loudly.

Emma glared.

* * *

An hour or so later, they moved from the kitchen into a dining room that was twice as expansive and equally asimpressive. They carried trays of roasted vegetables, tabbouleh, hummus and root vegetable stew to the table. Emma spoke quietly to Autumn, despite the hustle and bustle, telling her Bowie barely ate anymore, so she always made lots of little dishes in the hope something might take his fancy. It was the first time anyone had addressed his cancer with her directly.

They sat, served up, then settled into chit-chat. The large round table made conversation easy.

“So, how did you two meet?” Emma looked to Bowie and Autumn. Autumn had helped herself to a small plate of hummus and some vegetables. She was eating slowly so she didn’t finish before everyone else, but in a way that made it look like she’d eaten a fair amount. She’d become a talented illusionist over the years.

“We met at a Marley show,” Bowie said. His portion was even smaller than hers, but he didn’t seem to be eating any of it. Every now and then, he raised a forkful of vegetables to his lips, but mostly returned it to his plate.

“Ah, so you’ve witnessed how talented our son is?” Ben rubbed Marley’s shoulder affectionately.

“I have. He’s great.” Autumn smiled at Marley.

“Thank you,” Marley said shyly. Autumn was surprised. He didn’t seem the type to be bashful. He was working his way through the mountain of food as though someone was about to steal it from him.

“And what about Bowie? Have you heard any of his music?” Emma asked. Bowie blushed.

“Mum, can we not turn this lunch into a showcase of our achievements?”

“I’m not showcasing you. I don’t need to. She seems pretty smitten with you as it is.”

Autumn confirmed his mother’s observation by squeezing Bowie’s knee under the table. He was all she really wanted totalk about. It made her feel warm inside. She had been a little worried that she might spend the entire afternoon longing to be alone with him, but, now, despite the initial awkward silences, she was very much enjoying spending time with his family. He lit up when he was around them and she was learning more about him. So far, everything Autumn had heard made her like him even more.

“I haven’t heard any. We haven’t really had a chance yet,” she said.

Ben and Emma glanced at one another, and Bowie tensed beside her. Autumn knew she’d said the wrong thing. Her eyes darted to Bluebell. Her friend winked at her, then put down her knife and fork and eyed her mother warily. Emma shot her daughter a warning glance.

“When did you two meet?” Ben asked. His voice was saturated with concern. Autumn looked to Bowie to respond.

“Just the other night,” he said.

“Oh, Bowie.” Emma put her head in her hands.

“Don’t do this, Mum,” Bowie said warningly.

The room fell into awkward silence. Marley and Pip focused on their food, their eyes meeting meaningfully every now and again. The rest of the family had stopped eating. Autumn stared at the table. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Bowie maintaining eye contact with his father. They were locked in wordless communication. Autumn had never felt as though she’d known anybody well enough to do that. When Ben spoke, it was to her.

“Autumn, we don’t mean to be rude. Please don’t take this personally, but Bowie is at a uniquely difficult point in his life, and it’s inevitable we would be concerned about him becoming involved with someone at this time.”

“In actual fact, I’m at the end of my life, Dad, so I’d appreciate it if you’d let me be happy.” Bowie pushed hisplate away. Marley put down his cutlery and placed his hand supportively on his brother’s shoulder. Autumn could see pain and frustration etched on Bowie’s face, but she felt him relax a little at Marley’s touch. Maddie glanced sympathetically at Autumn and then she spoke, too.

“This isn’t just about you, Bowie. This is about Autumn, too. The next few months are going to be awful. It isn’t the right time to be dragging someone else into it.”

“Autumn knows what she’s getting herself into,” Marley said.

Maddie scowled. “Marley, we don’t need your biased twin-sibling defence mechanism to kick in right now, OK? Thanks.”

Marley bristled. “What the fuck do you know about it?”

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