Page 4 of Raptor

The grin that I get in return is blinding. I don’t need to ask her if that’s what she wants because her face gives her feelings away without her needing to say a fucking word.

Damn it, there’s a heaviness on my chest at the thought of her leaving. Crap. What the fuck is going on with me?

Chapter 2

Mallory

Fifteen Months Ago

My hands shake as I stare at the test. I'm in disbelief. What the hell am I going to do?

"Mallory," my best friend whispers, "it's going to be okay," she assures me.

"How?" I cry. "God, Jess, I'm eighteen, pregnant, and the father lives on the other side of the world. What the hell am I going to do?"

She gives me that smile, the one that reaches her eyes. It's so bright, so filled with love that I know that whatever happens, I'm going to be okay. It's the smile Jess used on me throughout our childhood, when things got tough. She always accompanied it with a promise that everything would be okay. "Trust me, no matter what, you've got this. Whatever you decide, you're not alone. You've never been alone. You have me and Chloe. We'll support you through it all."

I sigh. "That's just it, Jess, both you and Chloe have been through hell and back. You're still living in your hell. I can't add any more stress onto either of you."

She shakes her head, the blonde strands of her hair falling down her back. "Trust me, nothing you ever do would bring me stress. You have been my light throughout my darkness. I would do anything for you, Mal. You know that."

"I love you, Jess," I whisper. She's been my best friend since junior infants. We’ve been inseparable since the day we met. Our mas became friends because of us. So when Jess' ma died, it was hard for all of us. but we stuck together and overcame the worst of our grief. I would do anything for Jess and vice-versa. Helping with a baby however, is a big thing to ask someone, and I'm not sure if I could ever do that to her or Chloe.

"I love you too. Now, how far along are you? Do you know?" she asks.

I shake my head. "I don't," I whisper. "Either around a few weeks or three months."

She raises her brow. "That's a huge difference, Mal," she says, but there's no anger or reprimand in her voice, just concern.

I nod. "It is. With everything that's been going on recently, I lost track of a lot of things."

I feel guilty, so damn guilty all the time, especially ever since Chloe was kidnapped. It was just days after we had said our goodbyes at the airport in New York. I was returning home and Chloe was moving on to Chicago to meet with more family. She had asked if I wanted to go with her. I should have said yes. Had I done, maybe she wouldn't have been kidnapped and hurt.

Not only do I have guilt over Chloe, but I feel so much guilt over everything Jess has been through and is still going through. The moment her ma was buried, her father turned abusive toward her. I should have told someone, but I was fourteen and stupid. Now, at the age of eighteen, I know I fucked up, and Ican't help but think that I could have stopped everything she’s been through had spoken up all those years ago. But I made Jess a promise. I swore that I wouldn’t tell anyone about the abuse she suffers at the hands of her father. I know that if I ever did, she'd never speak to me again, and I can't take that risk. I'm the only person she has who will care for her if things get bad again. I regret making that promise and keeping it to this day. I wish I could tell someone, let someone know that Jess is still going through hell. But I won’t ever betray my best friend. I could never do that, espeically as I’m the only person she trusts implicitly.

Jess smiles at me. "We’ve all been a little preoccupied lately so no one can fault you for that." She takes a deep breath and reaches for my hand. "Why don't we get you an appointment with the doctor and get the dates, and then we can go from there."

I nod, glad to have her at my side. I couldn't imagine going through this alone.

"Are you going to tell Chloe?" she asks softly.

I sigh. "I'm not sure.” I sigh, before telling her my frustrations with the situation. “I don't have Raptor's number. Besides, what am I going to do? He lives in New York, for Christ’s sake. I live here. I'm not moving." I shake my head, my stomach churning. The thought of leaving makes me want to throw up. I can't leave Jess. I just can't. "His entire life is in New York, Jess. What do I say? Call him up and be like, 'Hey Raptor, I don't know if you remember me but I'm the Irish girl you spent a few nights with when I visited New York, and then again when you were in Dublin. I just wanted to let you know I'm pregnant’."

I bug my eyes out at her. It sounds stupid and ridiculous. What on earth am I going to do?

Jess wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug. "Don't panic," she whispers. "Everything will work out as it should."

For someone who's been tortured for so long, she has one of the most positive outlooks on life when it's just the two of us. I know she wants to escape, but she's scared of what her father will do if she does, and I can't lie, I am too. That man is a monster. He's vile and awful. I wish he'd die and set Jess free. It's not a nice thought, but Thomas Grace is a mean old bastard who needs to be put down.

"I can't tell Chloe," I confess. "She's with Pyro now, and no matter what, they'll tell Raptor, whether I’m ready for that or not. Until I find the courage to tell him myself, I can't be open with her."

Jess nods. "I get it. It's why Chloe doesn't know about my dad. If she did, she'd tell her mam and dad, and the last thing I need is my cousin losing her mind and telling her brother. I love Maverick. He's been sweet to me the last year or so. But I know if he found out what Dad was doing, he'd kill him.” She sighs. "I can't have that on my conscience."

Jess has such a sweet and caring nature that even the thought of someone hurting her dad—the man who has abused her for the past four years, who's set her on fire, who's made her watch as he rapes and murders people—makes her want to cry. She wants to see the best in people and I admire that, but sometimes people don't deserve to have forgiveness, nor do they deserve grace, and her dad is a man who deserves neither. The sooner that fucker dies the better. I'll be dancing and celebrating the day he does, and I have no doubt there'll be a lot more people doing the same.

"Someday, Jess, you're going to realize your dad isn't the man you want him to be, and it's going to hurt, but you'll be better for it."

She gives me a small smile. "Maybe," she says, though I know she doesn't believe it. She'll always look for the good in people. "What are you going to say to your mam?"

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