Page 131 of Never You

It’s a low blow, but I get it.

My chest deflates, running a hand through my messy hair.

“You know that’s not true.”

“Do I? Because you just told me you’re leaving. You’re going to New York. You’re going toher.”

“It’s not that simple.” I shake my head, frustration burning in the corners. “They are forcing my sister to get married if I don’t. I don’t have a choice.”

“Bull. Shit,” she sneers.

Her gold eyes are now sparkling with anger. It’s the same look she’s given me for the last five years, before this, before our road trip, but ten times worse.

She’s livid.

“You have a choice. But your choice is to be a damn coward. To hide behind your parents' wishes and demands.”

“You think this is easy for me?” I shout, my fury rapidly matching hers because I’m angry about this whole fucked upsituation. “You think I wanna go back to this political bullshit?! I don’t! I’d rather disappear and become some John Doe in Bumfuck, Idaho. But my sister is seventeen! I can’t let her get married to some pretentious Harvard dick because I’m too selfish!”

“So, that’s it? You’re just going to get back together with this girl because your parents want you to? God, this sounds like a cheap movie.”

She turns to walk back into the house, but I quickly reach out, trying to grasp anything to keep her from walking through that door. Pulling her hair, I slam her back against my chest, then grab her waist with both arms before I start to carry her back to her car.

“Put me down, you spineless asshole!” She squirms in my arms, but I keep a tight grip as I open the passenger seat and throw her ass inside.

Her legs are hanging out the open door, and I place my hands beside her thighs, caging her in with my body.

“Scream all you want. I live for that shit. But you donotwalk away from me until we get this sorted. I’m not leaving like this.Weare not saying goodbye like this,” I tell her.

“And how exactly do you want to say goodbye, Jensen?” she mocks, folding her arms in front of her chest. “As friends? You want a hug and a kiss on the cheek? Or as co-workers, with a pat on the back and ago get ’em, tiger?” She throws a fist in the air, then grabs my head between her hands, looking at me through fluttering lashes. “Or do you want us to say goodbye like I’m your secret lover, with passion and lust.”

She presses an angry kiss on my lips, and even though I want to hold her tight and keep kissing her until I turn her anger into something else, the venom on her tongue has me breaking our connection.

“Stop. Rae. Please.” I close my eyes, dropping my forehead against her shoulder while her hands rest on my neck.

“That’s anofor option number three. Got it.” Her hands fall down to her lap, and I can feel her slipping away. My body feels emptier as the seconds tick by, the time being my worst enemy right now. I just want more time withher.

“Rae,” I plead once more, even though I don’t even know what I want from her right now. I want her to not be mad at me, but I know she has every right to be.

I want to tell her I’ll come back for her, but I can’t make her that promise. I want her to understand, even though I don’t understand shit. But mostly, I just want her. I want her in my arms. In my bed. I want to wake up next to her every morning and hold her when it's time to go to sleep.

I want her to know that Iknow. That when Hunter told me,“When you know, you know…”I knew. I know she is. She is my endgame. But I can’t tell her that now, not while I can’t give her any guarantees of when I’ll be back.

“I’ll be back,” I whisper.

“When, Jensen?”

Pleading, I lift my head up, her fire almost ripping me in half. “I don’t know, but I will.”

“No, you’re not getting off that easy. It’s funny,” she snickers, cynical.

“What is?”

“You keep acting like you’re this tough guy, this NHL bad boy, doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants. But really, you’re just a troublesome looking puppet.” Her words cut through my soul like a knife goes through butter. With ease, making a clean slice from top to bottom.

The worst part? She’s right.

My jaw clenches, letting her words sink in while I never leave her eyes.

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