Page 70 of Forgive You

Thank fuck, this studio is close to the ocean.

Without a second thought, I take big strides toward the beach. The fact that she’s completely still has me nervous, but her arms wrapped around my neck settle it enough to keep going.

If she was completely out, she wouldn’t be able to hold on to my body, and I’m thanking the universe that she is. We really need to talk about this shit. This is the second time she’s had a panic attack at work.

How many times does it happen when she’s alone?

Fuck. My throat hurts just thinking about it.

When I reach the edge of the beach, I kick off my sneakers and connect my feet with the warm sand. Softly, I lower my knees to the ground, taking her with me until she’s cradled in my lap. I yank off her heels, tossing them beside us, then hold her closer against my chest.

“Do you hear me?”

Julie’s murmur ignites a rush of calmness to settle in my muscles, and I sigh.Thank God.

“Great, now breathe.” I lead by example, inhaling deeply.

It takes a few tries, and finally, her body starts to move in line with mine. Our chest rising and falling almost as one.

“Good job. That’s it. Now deeper.” I twist her so her back is at my front, circling my arms around her waist.

“I got you, baby. Keep breathing. Do you feel that? Feel the sand underneath your feet. Wiggle them.” She gently moves her toes, and the excess sand falls from her skin. “Keep breathing.”

She relaxes into the hollow of my chest.

She’s coming back to me. Her breathing levels out, the panic surging out of her body with each exhale.

I wrap my arms tighter around her so I can rest my chin on her shoulders. “Soak in the warmth of the sun.”

With my eyes closed, I do as I advise, and for a while we just sit there.

It’s weird, how the day changes within a second. Five minutes ago, I was freaking out about her safety, and now the outcome for her panic attack has me on cloud nine. It’s an excuse to hold her, and I’ll take it with open arms.

I’ve been dying to touch her since I kissed her, the memory replaying in my head. It pops up when I’m driving, wishing she was sitting in the passenger seat like she did that night. WhenI’m in the shower, and I’m fisting my dick, imagining her lips wrapped around it.

I kissed her to snap her,us, out of the fight that seems to return at the most inconvenient times. I wanted to overwrite my frustrations with something that could remind me of how much I miss her in my life.

It fucking backfired, because now she’s literally in the palms of my hands, and I want to kiss her again.

Focus, Jason.

“Are you okay?” I ask when minutes have passed.

She sits quietly in my arms, her weight surrendered to my body.

“Babe?”

She finally nods, then buries her face in her hands, letting it fall against my chest. “Oh, God. What will everyone think?”

The move warms my insides, loving the trust she gives me by simply leaning into my body for comfort.

“Don’t worry about them.” I will tell them it was the heat, or she forgot to eat breakfast because she was so dedicated to this shoot.

I will come up with something, and we will work around that.

What I’m more worried about is her well-being.

“That was another panic attack, wasn’t it?”

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