Page 45 of Forgive You

There you have it. The big rock that broke our glass floor.

He thinks he knows, but he really has no idea. And you know what? That’s okay. He had every right to be confused, and I wouldn’t have been offended if he even got a little mad. But he never asked questions.

He never gave me the grace to talk to me. No, instead he walked out, flew back to California, and ghosted me for weeks until I gave up. He convicted me without any effort, when he knows me better than anyone.

And that’s what hurts the most.

He wraps his hands behind his neck, glancing at the ceiling as if he’s having a hard time breathing. Doubt and uncertainty flicker in his gaze as he studies my face.

“Are you with him?” His blue eyes are filled with fatigue, but you know what?

So are mine.

“I told you I’m not!”

His exhales are deep and loud, like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, trying to make it make sense. “But?”

My skin burns, as if I’m getting too close to a fire. I want to tell him everything. The good, the bad. The motherfucking ugly, andGod, it’s ugly.

But I know what he will do, and it will destroy him. It will destroy everything he’s trying to build, and didn’t Jacob destroy enough?

Isn’t it enough that he’s going to take over Bradford Real Estate?

I can’t let him take everything. I can’t let him destroy Jason.

“But…it’s complicated.” Tears well in my eyes, and I divert them to my lap.

Fuck,I know what it sounds like.

Come on, Jason.

Dig a little deeper.

I just need him to show me he still seesme. I need him to ask why I still had that ring, so that at least he can make me believe he still gives me the benefit of the doubt.

“It’s not.” A tear escapes when I find Jason’s shaking head. “It’s really not.”

The sheer disappointment tears me up more every single time, but still, he won’t ask the right questions. He still won’t ask the one thing that could at least change this big question mark between us. The one that might be able to at least make him consider forgiving me.

I hold his gaze, my brown eyes pleading with his blues to see the truth, that I wouldneveragree to marry his brother, but I just see his expression hardening in front of me.

“You know what,” he says, throwing me a smile that doesn’t match the cold look that comes with it. “Never mind. You’re just like him. Always want your cake and eat it too. Fuck this shit. You two deserve each other.”

He has his hand on the door in two steps, but freezes when I open my mouth.

“You want to hate me, but you don’t.”

His shoulders grow slack, his forehead falling against the door while I hold my breath. He looks so vulnerable, and I hate that I’m the root of it, but I also know I’m not. I hate that he’s feeling like the world is falling apart around him when it comes to us, but doesn’t he see that I feel the exact same way?

Doesn’t he see that I’ve been fucking lost without being able to feel his arms around my body when I don’t feel like I can deal by myself anymore?

He turns around, heartbreak in his eyes. “You’re right, Jules. I don’t. I want to so fucking bad, but I fucking can’t. And I hate myself for it.”

“At some point, you’re gonna have to open your eyes and see the truth.”

“I already see the truth!” he shouts, pointing a finger at me.

The vein in his neck pulses, and by the way he flexes his hand, I know he wants to punch something. It’s unnerving to see this man who is always the epitome of reason lose control because of me. I’ve always known he’s capable of some serious wrath, but never in a million years did I think I’d be on the receiving end of it.

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