Page 140 of Forbidden You

At first, regret filled me every time I let that thought alone sink in, but now, the sadness isn’t as overwhelming as before. I did what I had to do to protect myself, and for that, I’m proud. At least I didn’t let it cost me anything more than my dream, and I can always make new ones.

“No one will ever hurt you again. Do you hear me?” His forehead rests against mine. “Do you hear me? I will hunt down every single guy who hurts you.”

I sniff, my tears reaching my neck.

“Do you hear me, baby?” His voice is demanding, but in a good way.

“Yes,” I concede. “I hear you.”

With a big grunt, he lifts his chin to rest it on top of my head, squeezing me tightly against him, and even though I can still feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins, there is a calmness settling in my heart. A calmness that makes me want to stay like this forever.

Even though deep down, I know we never will.

37

I’m a fucking mess.

The next morning, I wake up with my nose buried in her hair, my arms hugging her against my chest while my morning wood falls perfectly in the crack of her ass.

I suck in a lungful of her sweet scent, mixed with a sultry whim of her sweat.

Last night, I almost had a heart attack when I saw that little shit with his hands around her neck. It took every fiber in my being to not rip his head off his torso, but I knew the asshole wasn’t worth jail time. After he bolted out, all I wanted to do was take her to bed and wrap my arms around her the entire night like she was mine to hold. Like she was mine to protect.

So I did.

Against better judgment.

But today my judgment is returning with a megaphone.

She’s sound asleep, and it’s tempting to wake her up with my lips cherishing her body, but something tugs on my heart. A fearful feeling washes over me. I should get out. I should create distance to protect her.

I can’t give her what she wants. I can’t give her what she deserves. I might be an upgrade from Trent, not a hard thing to be, but I’m not her happily ever after. I can’t be that guy for her.

Frustrated, I quickly get out of bed, leaving the warmth of her body against mine.

Regret is almost instant, but like every other issue in my life, I toss it aside.

As quietly as I can, I grab my sweats from the floor before making my way to the kitchen. The cold floor underneath my feet pushes away the last of the fogginess in my mind, and I head straight for the coffee machine.

Automatically, I put my cup under, then push the button while rubbing a hand over my face with a sharp pain in my chest.

What am I fucking doing?

How can I have let it get this far?

Why didn’t she tell me about her abusive boyfriend?

Now I realize why she’s been avoiding his calls and why her body goes completely rigid just by seeing his name. The thought of him hurting her over the past year grinds my teeth and when she was safely in my arms, all I wanted to do was show her how she deserves better.

How she doesn’t have to feel ashamed about anything. How she isn’t damaged. He didn’t break her, because boys like that can’t break girls like her.

I wasn’t supposed to sleep with her, but it was a moment of weakness. A moment that quickly became something more. The moment she looked at me with her light blue eyes filled with an amount of love that wasn’t there before. I could feel it. It was a declaration of love from her and the fucked up part is that I have never felt better than in that moment. Like a selfish bastard, I relished in it, even though I know it wasn’t mine.

My chin falls to my chest, the ache only getting worse by the minute.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

It’s clear the universe won’t give me any time to think about it when she saunters into the kitchen. I’m anxious to turn around, but when I do, a beaming smile sits on her face until our eyes lock.