Page 131 of Forbidden You

“Pff,” he sputters, “I know it. He’s got his head all up her dad’s ass, and the old man is eating it up. Hell, he’s nicer to him than he is to her.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“My brotherisfucked up. The more times she’s calling me to spit about what he’s done now, the more I start hating the guy. I can’t believe I share the same blood with him. But it fucksmeup that she’s giving him chance after chance.”

“Maybe she wouldn’t if she knew how you felt.”

His gaze snaps to mine, a little feral. “We’re friends.”

“But you don’t want to be. You want her.”

His eyes fall to the top of the table, as if he’s carefully picking his words, then concedes with a sigh.

“What if I do and she goes back to him? I won’t be able to take that.” He shakes his head. “What if the roles get reversed the second we have an argument or a fight, and she calls Jacob to vent like she’s doing me?”

I frown. “Jacob was never her friendfirst. You are. Have been since you guys were eighteen.”

“I’m not sure I trust she feels the same.”

I look at my friend's pained expression. This is exactly why I don’t want to fucking fall in love. It messes with your head every fucking time. I’ve seen the pain Hunter went through. I’ve seen the women that threw themselves at Jensen because of his fame and fortune. Falling love is fully trusting someone, and I’m not sure I have it in me to let go of that amount of control.

“Would you take your shot if you’d be sure Julie wouldn’t go back to Jacob?”

Jason takes in my words, plucking one of the last two shots of the table. “I will deny this if you ever repeat it,” he sternly points his finger at me, “but yes. I’d take my fucking shot, and make her mine.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” I chuckle, following his lead and grabbing the shot glass, and bringing it to my lips as I steal a little sip.

Fuck, I should’ve ordered a tray of something girly instead of straight up bottom shelf whiskey.

“What about you?” He holds up the shot to tap it against mine, but pulls it back when I don’t answer his question. “Nah-ah, I confessed. Your turn.”

The sigh that follows comes from my toes, my shoulders sagging.

“Come on, Bodi. Is this thing with you and Kayla going anywhere?”

Probably to shit like everything else. I don’t know if I want to know what my life will look like without her, but Jason just reminded me. Relationships are a fucking pain, and I have enough of that on my plate for the next fucking decade.

“Look, I like her. I really do. She does a good job, and I want to be her friend. But my life is a fucking mess. The last thing I need is to complicate shit with Kayla.”

Nausea swells in my stomach.Fuck, why does my chest hurt?

Maybe it’s the shots. I eye the tiny glass between my fingers, then bring it to my lips, pouring it down my throat like it’s the answer to my prayers.

“So whatdoyou need?” He tilts his head, doing the same before we both bounce the glass back on the table with a toss.

To forget about my dad, forget about the glooming future that’s ahead, and forget about Kayla. I just need to fucking forget. Even if it’s just for a night.

“Shots. I need shots.”

I need a whole lot more fucking shots until I pass the fuck out.

35

Last night, shots had been my salvation. Today they’ve become the worst hangover I’ve ever experienced, fucking with my head like they own the place.

My lack of sleep pushes thoughts in my head that are scaring me to death, and I don’t know how to stop them.

I’ve been staring out of the window in my office for an hour.

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