Page 159 of Forbidden You

That’s right, it’s impossible.

“Oh, this is heaven.” Julie’s spread out on the picnic plaid with a disposable glass of wine resting on her stomach, her face enjoying the spring sun.

We’re sitting in the park, packed with a fully stacked picnic basket, hanging out like we’ve been doing for the last week. With Rae being at work and Charlotte’s hands fully occupied with their new baby, Julie and I have been growing closer.

She asked me to have lunch together, because she needed a break from life, and I was more than happy to find some distraction from my broken heart.

My break from life is sorta running past the expiration date, but what’s another day, right?

“This, and the bliss of sex,” Julie adds.

“Ugh, I miss sex.”

“Tell me about it.” The words are accompanied by a moan that has me frowning.

“That whole feeling of being stretched wide.”

“The friction of two bodies together,” Julie chimes in.

“Right! And, oh, that moment after when he’s still seated inside of you and you’re both completely still. They always leave quicker than you want them to.”

“What do you mean?” Julie amusingly holds a hand above her honey brown eyes to shelter them from the sun as she looks at me.

“That moment when you’re all sweaty, heaving in your afterglow, and you still feel him sitting deep inside of you. I love that feeling. During sex, your mind can barely register what’s happening, but it’s when he stops, that’s the moment you can really feel how full he makes you. I wish we could stay like that and watch TV or something. You know those hotel rooms with mirrors on the ceiling? I’d rather have a TV there, so I can watch my favorite show with his body on top of me and his dick situated in my pussy.”

A loud laugh ripples from her throat, and I follow right behind her. “Where do you get this shit?”

“You don’t like that feeling?” I smirk.

“I never thought about it like that.”

“Well, think about it. It’s fucking bliss.”

She moves her gaze up, thinking about it, then shrugs her shoulders. “Definitely better than watching TV with my magic wand.”

“Gotta work with what we got, sister.”

“You’re damn right we do.”

I swing my attention examining her face. It’s free from makeup, her lips just glossed with a little bit of lip balm, nothing weird, but the tone in her voice has my eyes narrow in suspicion. “Hold on, why wouldyouneed a magic wand?”

She peeks one eye open, then shuts it just as quickly.

“I broke up with Jacob.”

“You what? Why?” I mean, I haven’t heard anything good about the guy, but she broke up a couple months ago, then took him back.

“Because he’s my pacifier.”

“Your what?” I quak, not even remotely following.

“My pacifier.” Her shoulders grind over the blanket as she hoists them up, covering her eyes with her palm to find mine. “We all grew up with a pacifier that gives us comfort when we’re sad, that feels comfortable, something we don’t want to part with but eventually we have to? Because we grow out of them? But mostly because how ridiculous would it be if you’d still be rocking a pacifier at twenty, right?”

A laugh rumbles from my chest.

“A pacifier starts out as something soothing, but if you hold onto it too long, it will fuck up your teeth and hold you back in your growth. Jacob is my pacifier.”

I clear my throat, a little gobsmacked.

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