Page 13 of Claimed by The Italian

I wish someone would knock some sense into me. I wish I could trust myself to make good decisions. But when it comes to Lorenzo, bad turns to good, wrong turns to right, and my fear turns to lust.

What the heck has he done to me?Lorenzo

I feel like a stranger in my own home. No one is speaking to me. I’ve only seen Lydia once today and she kept her eyes down like I asked her too. Each time I see Bianca in the house, she fixes her face into a sneer and looks through me like I’m not even there. I sit in my office now, drumming my fingers on the table and wondering how it came to this.

I’ve never been a man of impulse. I’ve always calculated every move I make perfectly. That’s what made me a perfect mafia man. Every task Marco has ever set me has been executed with precision, a requirement in this line of work. One mistake can get you killed. One slip from the path and your own family might even throw you to the wolves. That’s why I can’t afford the mistake of falling for Lydia.

Except it doesn’t feel like a mistake. Falling for her makes me feel like the way I’ve lived my life up until now is the mistake, not her. She shows me ways in which I can move forward in my life. She shows me a woman I want to love night and day. A woman I can finally spill my seed inside. I can get her pregnant and she’ll make us a family from the second I come deep inside her and then for the rest of time. This is what I want. I never realized before how much I crave a family life, but she’s shown me so much about myself that I’ve been denying. I thought I was fulfilled, but I was walking through life in a daze without her.

And now I can’t have her. I know it was my choice to turn her away, but I had no choice. I want her to be safe. With the feud with the Moretti family no doubt about to get nasty, I can’t afford to take my attention away from getting back at them. It could take years to take them down. They’re a big and powerful family. You shoot one of them and you end up with another ten enemies to deal with. It won’t be simple to solve this.

Bianca was right. Every time I get closer to Lydia, I put her in harm’s way. But that doesn’t mean I’m not furious with her for interfering. It doesn’t mean I’m not desperate to run back to Lydia and take her the way I’m so determined to. Even though it’s for the best, I still feel fury like no other toward my sister.

It’s nearly time for dinner, and I’ll have to face her at the table. Family dinners have been a tradition since our parents were alive, and they were very strict about us keeping to them even after they were gone. I’d never disrespect them by not turning up, even if it’s going to be tense. I pour myself a glass of whiskey to calm my nerves, but it runs like fire through my veins and turns my fury into an inferno. Now it’s going to be even harder to bite my tongue. Ever since I met Lydia, my feelings seem amplified. Maybe it’s because I have something to fight for now. Maybe it’s because I have someone I care about to protect.

The whiskey sits hot in my empty stomach as I stand and leave my office for dinner. When I arrive in the dining room, Bianca is already there, wearing a long black gown and red lipstick. She smiles wickedly and she may as well be the Devil as far as I’m concerned. She knows that she’s won a victory over me by splitting Lydia and me apart. I feel a growl forming in my throat. The animal that Lydia has awoken inside me wants to rampage, to go crazy, to show just how mad Bianca has really made me. But I swallow it all down and take my seat at the head of the table. After all, I’m the one in control here. I made the choice to turn Lydia away, not Bianca. She’ll never let go of the fact that I bested her for the control of this family. That’s why she’s so bitter. That’s why she’s trying to take me down.

She won’t succeed.

Bianca takes her seat and our chef serves up an incredible meal, but I know I won’t eat a bite of it. My stomach is in knots. I sit silent and still as Bianca picks up her cutlery and tucks in with appreciative noises.

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