Page 220 of Out of Bounds

“Oh. What did you say?”

“Was the quarter of a blowjob that good?” she teased. “You okay?”

For a moment, I didn’t say anything. I just looked at her in the darkness. "I wish I met you sooner."

“More quarter blowjobs?”

“I think…” I hesitated. “If I would’ve met you sooner, all of this would’ve been easier.”

“What do you mean?”

“All of it.” I shrugged. “I had a hard learning curve when I got here. I wasn’t used to the cameras. And if I had you here—”

“I would’ve told all of them to fuck off?”

“You would’ve made everything easier to deal with,” I countered. “You would’ve made everything…good. All the bullshit, all the long nights, I would’ve hadyouthere and now…” I shook my head. “I get you for a couple of months and when thehell do I get to see you? On the scratchy carpet in the goddamn training center.”

“It wasn’t scratchy.”

I sighed.

“Okay, okay.” Kassie pushed up out of my arms, still a little shaky. Carefully, she swung over her leg until she straddled my lap. Holding my close, she kissed my hair. "You’re just tired."

“I am tired. I’m tired of this shit.”

She ran her fingertips across my hair again and I leaned forward to kiss her chest but I was still thinking about it. It was hard not to think about.

"I could’ve met you as a freshman," I muttered.

Kassie chuckled. "I hated football games."

"I could’ve gone to the bookstore.”

“You have people to do that for you,” she said, definitely trying to lighten the mood.

“One of your bars then. I could’ve found you before I got the captain’s badge and everything would’ve been better." I took a deep breath. "How much time did I waste not looking for you?"

It was quiet for a long moment.

She took my chin in her hand, tilting me up. "You can’t think like that."

"I think about it all the time."

"We’re in the honeymoon phase," she told me, her voice husky. "That’s why we’re fucking so much. Think about it, do you really want that to end?"

She didn’t understand.

"I don’t want time to skip ahead, I wish I already had it." I ran my hand through my hair, struggling to explain. "We could have already had birthdays together, holidays, vacations, anniversaries, but instead I have to be content with a couple of months—fuck the honeymoon stage. We could’ve had it two years ago."

Kassie was silent and that’s where I knew I messed up.

I sighed. "I’m sorry. I’m not trying to ruin anything."

"You’re stressed," she murmured. "You have a lot on your shoulders right now."

I had nothing to say to that, I just wrapped my arms around her again and held her there. The low murmur of the phone call was the only sound in the meeting room.

Gently, Kassie stroked my hair, bringing goosebumps on my skin. "Ryan?"

---