Page 60 of The Laughing Game

“Well, what do they look like? Do you have a photo?”

“Oh, no, I don’t really… It’s kind of a casual thing right now.”

Even though it doesn’t feel casual. Not for me, at least.

“Oh. But they’re nice men?” she asked, actually expressing concern for my wellbeing.

“They’re really nice, Mom. You’d like them.”

“When can I meet them? Where didyoumeet them? How long have you been with them?”

“It’s been several weeks now. Well, the romance, at least.” Romance? Was it a romance? I couldn’t use the word sex-fest or she’d run with that. “We’ve been friends for a bit longer.”

“Hmm. Are you being safe?”

She means condoms. Oh my God.“Yes, Mom.”

“You know, condoms are very important for anal sex.”

“Oh my God. I know. Please stop.”

Listening to your seventy-nine-year-old mother say ‘anal sex’ was beyond uncomfortable.

“I’m not even—I mean,” I scrambled, putting a hand to my head. “We’re not even—never mind.”

“Well,” she said. “You’ve made a boring old woman’s day very interesting.”

“Good. I guess?”

“Are they younger or older?” She watched me with eyes that could still see things nobody else could. At least she’d likely forget everything I told her by tonight.

“Gideon is younger, and he’s very cute,” I said, listening to the words coming out of my mouth as if they were spoken by another person. It didn’t seem like me, but it was. It so was.

“Not too young, I hope.”

“He’s twenty-six. And Vihaal is forty.”

“Forty!” she said, eyes widening.

“Mom, I’m thirty-six.”

“No! You’re thirty-six? Really? God, the time flies when you get old.” She shrugged. “I suppose ten years isn’t that much of an age difference.”

I’d been born when she was in her early forties. A completely unexpected pregnancy that she’d accepted with grace and always called a fortuitous accident. I’d never felt unwanted. Not like Vihaal, it seemed. I needed to find out more of that story.

“Vihaal doesn’t look his age. You know, now that I think about it, he looks kind of like Rahul Kholi, the actor.”

“Who?”

“He was Napoleon inThe Fall of the House of Usher.” We’d watched the series together, back when mom was still living in the house. She’d enjoyed it.

“Oh yes. Oh! Really?”

I described how sweet they were, and how I’d met them through Jacob and Sebastian. She seemed satisfied.

“Well, I’m glad that you’re finally exploring your sexuality. I knew there was something else there.”

“Mom. If you’ve known all this time, why didn’t you say anything?”

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