Page 97 of Undeniable

She’d sounded so sure of herself when she’d walked away from me. Like she was the one who’d made the decision to end things instead of the other way around. She’d told me she hated me with such conviction that I knew it was true.

When did she find out? Had she already known?

There were too many questions, and I didn’t have a single goddamn answer. If I wanted answers, it would’ve made more sense to stick around and talk, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t process every single feeling or emotion under the scrutiny of our friends and family at Murphy’s.

The bar was packed to the brim with people who wanted to celebrate Ivy. People I’d invited to hopefully make up for the last time I was supposed to spend her birthday with her. But I’d run out on this one, too.

And no matter how hard I tried, there was no making up for last time.

I couldn’t stop myself from wondering what our lives would have been like had everything been different. I hoped she would’ve told me about the baby eventually. I hoped she would have let me be a part of both of their lives. I hoped she would have let me love them both.

Suddenly it felt like I was forcing each breath from my lungs and the cabin of the truck was far too small. Like the truck was on fire, I fumbled for the handle and heaved the door open as quickly as I could.

I stumbled and nearly met the damp grass beneath me. But I found my balance and clasped my hands on top of my head like I did after a particularly strenuous workout. It wasn’t working though. It was still too hard to get air in and out of my lungs.

And I couldn’t calm my racing thoughts either.

All those years, she was holding such a heavy burden. One that I would’ve undeniably helped her carry.

But I’d messed up so horribly that I wouldn’t have told me either. I hated myself just as much as she did.

So, I yelled. I yelled until my lungs burned for an entirely different reason and some of my thoughts had quieted.

The closest people were at least a mile away, so they couldn’t hear me losing my damn mind. Or see the tears I suddenly realized were falling.

The silence following my yelling fit seemed endless. Aside from the birds chirping in the tree only feet away and the tall grass rustling in the breeze, there wasn’t a sound.

I paced for so long my body was sore.

I knew I couldn’t get back in the truck, so I dropped the tailgate and hopped up onto the bed. I wanted to stay there forever. I was so much safer if I was miles away from my problems. But I knew that wasn’t plausible. I’d eventually have to face everything.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t hear the car pull up until the door shut.

“Thought you organized some birthday surprise for Ivy today,” Brendon remarked, coming to stand only a few feet in front of me.

We’d been best friends in high school—me, Forrest, and Brendon—yet we’d drifted further and further apart over the years. It all started that day—the day after Forrest and Ivy’s birthday—when she’d yelled at me in their front yard. They’d both been witnesses to our argument and had physically held me back when I’d tried to run after her.

They’d claimed that it was for the best, but it hadn’t been. Leaving Ivy had never been the better option, and even if I wouldn’t admit that to myself then, I’d still known it was wrong. But I let them talk me into leaving.

Now, I barely knew the man standing in front of me.

I’d come out there to be alone, and honestly, Brendon was one of the last people I was in the mood to talk to. But the genuine concern on his face made me second-guess my angry response.

“Yeah, that was the plan,” I muttered.

“So, I’m assuming there’s a good reason why you aren’t there right now.”

I couldn’t even manage a hollow chuckle. “I guess that depends on your definition of ‘good.’”

Rather than look at him, I peered down at my hands folded in my lap. They were shaking, and I clenched them into fists to make it stop. It didn’t help.

“Well, I was just driving by and couldn’t believe I saw James Larson’s truck in this field.”

I wasn’t in the mood for small talk. When I didn’t say anything for a long while, he tried a different tactic. “You okay?”

I chanced a look up at him, and he easily read the answer on my face.

“Okay…” he said, then sighed.

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