Page 106 of Endgame

‘We’re going to fix what we can. I’m going to call Jasper,’ Lara finally says.

‘No, I promised Sophia that I wouldn’t contact him.’

‘She didn’t say I couldn’t.’ Lara is dialling before I can respond. ‘Jasper,’ she starts, and waits for a response. ‘Good. No love lost then. Listen. I’m keeping this short and sharp. Ariella has been booted from Ivory Bow, she’ll be back home within two weeks and she needs your help, but Barbie won’t let her call you.’

Lara looks bored as she lets Jasper speak.

‘Yeah, okay, whatever. She needs a home. Somewhere between you and her parents. Preferably a cottage. She’ll need do-gooding, friendly and slightly nosy neighbours. Maybe one of those streets with a bunting and Christmas lights kitty. Three bedrooms. Garden. Somewhere with a swanky postcode with maybe parks, lakes, rivers, swans, rabbits and ducks and shit – but on a tube line.’

Lara mouths, ‘It’ll be fine’ at me before she continues the conversation.

‘Bloody hell, Jasper, let her live in it for five minutes first. A rental is fine, and you’re going to have to ask Caleb that.’

After a couple more short exchanges that end in Lara swearing Jasper to secrecy, she hangs up.

‘House will be sorted. He’ll arrange for you to be picked up at the airport, not by him, of course, and he won’t tell a soul. Expect him to call Caleb for details though,’ she warns.

‘Thank you, Lara.’ I just feel so helpless, I don’t know what else to say.

‘You need to learn how to ask for help, babe. I’ve been running around Singapore necking cocktails and terrorising the locals completely unaware that you needed me. You just bottle it all up, letting it go haywire in your head until it explodes. Now look at you.’

I nod and stay in my best friend’s arms until I fall asleep.

I wake up alone on the couch to Lara’s frustrated whispering.

‘Maybe if you stopped thumping innocent fucking civilians, you’d be in better shape.’

‘He’s not innocent.’

‘Who died and made you a vigilante? This isn’t Gotham. Stop your reckless nonsense and stop beating up random people because they breathed in her direction! You’re scaring the shit out of her.’

I feel uncomfortable listening in, so I sit up noisily.

‘You were out for a while,’ Lara says as she approaches me from the kitchen. Caleb walks in the opposite direction and out into the garden.

‘I can’t wait until I get my energy back.’

‘So a few things happened while you were sleeping. Honey, unsurprisingly, is taking MsPat on when you leave, I’ve reached out to my wedding thirst club to let them know I am still looking, and Jasper has already found you somewhere. Wait till you see the kitchen.’

Lara pulls up the house on her phone and takes me through the floor plans and images. She leaves the large light-filled kitchen till last.

‘It’s perfect, thank you for everything, Lara.’

‘I just can’t believe you’ve conned me this whole time that you had your shit together. You’re still as bloody useless as you were in London.’ Lara laughs and I laugh along too.

‘How are things with Honey?’

‘Good. Really good.’ She looks really happy. ‘We’re obviously lying low and definitely no strip clubs, but I don’t mind. I like it. It’s different. It feels special.’

‘Do you think you’ll move in with her while you’re looking for something else?’

‘No. I’m not sure what I’m going to do, but I like that we live apart. It feels like I’m choosing to spend time with her, rather than having to be together because we live in the same house. I might crash with Caleb instead. I’ll get to see her every day and we can both still have space.’

‘I am so happy for you, Lara.’

‘I’m happy for me, too and I think taking it slowly helps.’

‘Do you think she might be it for you?’

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