Page 107 of Endgame

Lara takes her time and looks into the distance to give my question some thought before she answers.

‘Yes, I think she might be, but we’ll see. I think we need to make some progress first before I know for sure.’

‘What progress?’

‘None of your business. Are you going to be okay? I’m supposed to be meeting her tonight.’

‘Yes. Thank you for today, Lara.’

‘I love you, my secretive little nutter.’

I get one last hug from my best friend before she calls her taxi and makes her way out of my front door, leaving Caleb and me alone in the house.

I’m not in the mood for a confrontation so, while he is still out in the garden and we can’t see each other, I escape into the bedroom for a shower and an early night and commit to turningthings round tomorrow. I really need to start planning for this baby, packing up my things and winding down life in Singapore.

I walk as quietly as I can up the stairs to avoid Caleb, only to find him sitting on our bed with his head in his hands. I stand there considering taking a step back to leave.

‘Please don’t leave.’

‘I don’t want to fight Caleb, please.’

‘I don’t want to fight either.’ He reaches both his arms out towards me from where he is sitting and I step into them. Caleb pulls me in and presses his cheek against my belly with such longing, I feel the intensity with which he loves this baby.

‘I hate that I drove you away to the point that you could only speak to Lara. I understand why, but you asking Jasper for help rather than me is particularly devastating.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘You don’t have to apologise, it was my fault.’

‘No, it was mine. I knew Dominic wanted to be more than friends. He told me every time I saw him but I chose to ignore it and I didn’t really, fully shut it down. Instead, I wanted to keep him in my life so much, I tried to force a friendship that I knew deep down had turned into something else.’

‘Why did you want him around so much? What gap was he filling, for you?’

‘None. I’m not like you, Caleb. I don’t make friends easily. Inconveniently, he’s the only friend I have made in Singapore. I was lost and lonely for a very long time when I got out here. He saw that and changed it exactly when I needed it. He wasn’t a colleague I had to see daily or someone paid to be nice to me. He easily could have been an uninvolved client but he chose to be a friend. We were kind to each other. Inspired each other, made each other laugh. Hanging out with Dominic was my equivalent of you going for casual beers with Tim and Jack or your pub quiz. Not seeing him any more when we got back together feltlike I was abandoning him and I knew that, if I let go of him, I’d miss my friend. Before you showed up, I told him that we couldn’t be friends any more. Caleb, no matter how much being friends with Dominic was important to me, it was threatening our relationship, and I want this more.’

I put my hand through his hair and hold him close.

‘Lara told me he instructed Samir to fire you because you asked him to let you go home.’

‘Yes.’

‘And you have to be out of Singapore in two weeks?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay.’

I intentionally didn’t tell Lara that Dominic had agreed to let both of us go back to London because I knew there was every chance she would mention it. If Caleb ever found out that he had jeopardised his chance to come back with me and the baby, he’d never forgive himself. So, I lock it away and stand there for a while, holding on to my boyfriend as we figure out what the next best steps for us would be.

TWENTY-EIGHT

CALEB

When Jasper called earlier that day, I was still fuming at Ariella, so I was expecting him to give me a hard time.

‘Caleb, what’s going on?’

I really didn’t want to be the one to tell Jasper but at this point it looks like I’m going to need all the help I can get.

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