Page 61 of For the Cameras

I glanced up. “Chase is coming?”

Shawn nodded. “Emmett also wanted at least one person from the film crew. He said he also got along well with Chase, and they bonded over cameras, or something.”

My mind ran wild with the possibilities. The idea of going to a place that fancy for dinner was intimidating, mostly for the social aspects rather than the posh environment.

But if Chase would be there, that changed things. Would he sit next to Emmett, flirting all night? Would he head home with Emmett, even? Chase had said that Emmett wasn’t his type, but I knew how those types of things could fall by the wayside after a little bit of conversation.

Not that I was jealous, or anything.

Besides, seeing Chase in a ritzy place might be interesting on its own.

“I’ll go,” I told Shawn.

“Hell yes,” he said. “You’ll enjoy yourself, I promise. The food is going to be killer.”

Shawn and I turned back to more plans for the guest bathroom in the house, but I was distracted as we talked things over. I still couldn’t stop bouncing my leg, and I bit at my bottom lip as Shawn tried to explain different options for bathroom sinks.

“You okay, Adam?” Shawn asked after I’d zoned out for a moment, thinking about Chase.

“Sorry,” I said automatically, pulling in a quick breath. “You were talking about a raised sink?”

“I’m more concerned about you right now, to be honest,” Shawn said. “You seemed so chill until I brought up the dinner. If youreallydon’t want to go, we can just tell Emmett you can’t make it.”

“No, no,” I said. “It’s not that.”

Shawn cocked his head to one side, keeping his eyes on me. “What’s up, then? What’s bugging you?”

I felt uneasy having him look at me like that. This was exactly the kind of social stuff I wasn’t good at. Shawn was a really nice person, and he really was just trying to be kind to me, checking in on me because I seemed “off.”

But I didn’t know what to say.

I sure as hell wasn’t going to blurt out what was going on in my mind:for fuck’s sake, I’m just way too into a guy that I can’t have. And, oh yeah, he’s also one of the main camera operators on your TV show, and we filmed very explicit videos the other day.

“Hey, love,” a voice came from beside the table. Rush appeared at our side, leaning in to press a kiss to Shawn’s lips. “How’s it going, guys?”

Shawn and Rush got caught up in a conversation for a minute, and I got a much-needed chance to hang back.

“You doing well?” Rush asked me before heading back behind the bar. “Need any food, snacks?”

“I’m doing great,” I said. “The brewery is nice at this time of day.”

He smiled. “Still another few hours before this place is filled with drinkers and dancers and fuckboys. Enjoy the rest of your meeting, I’ll get out of your hair.”

I turned back to Shawn as Rush walked off. “I have a question,” I told Shawn.

“Lay it on me.”

“What exactly is afuckboy?”

Shawn nodded thoughtfully. “Kind of like a player, but less in-your-face about it. A guy who just wants hookups, no strings attached. Maybe a guy who kind of charms you, and you start getting feelings for him, but then he backs off quickly.”

I swallowed. It sounded like he was describing Chase, exactly.

I remembered one of the embarrassing Youtube videos I’d watched a few months back, all about tips and tricks to help with social confidence. Just like the articles, the video had said that one of the tips was to get a little bit vulnerable with acquaintances, telling them how you felt about things.

Shawn really did seem concerned about me. So maybe I could tell him at least asmidgenof the truth.

“I see,” I said. “Well, um, that’s what I’ve been nervous about.”

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