Page 37 of For the Cameras

“That’s sad,” I said. “Some guys were shitty to you, so you give up altogether?”

He caught my eye. “When I was in relationships, I was… too much. Multiple guys told me I was too much.”

I furrowed my brow. “How so?”

He bit his lower lip. “Like being willing to move hundreds of miles for guys when I’d only known them for a couple of months. Like telling guys I loved them way too soon. Like getting ideas about marriage way before it was appropriate.”

It was almost as much of a revelation as learning his OnlyShots username had been. Chase used to be a hopeless romantic? Someone who wanted toomuch, instead of nothing at all?

I realized that there was an iceberg of emotions underneath Chase’s fun-loving attitude that I’d never known before.

And it made me want to pull him into my arms.

“Wow,” I said. “So you went in the complete opposite direction, now. It’s still sad to hear about what happened.”

Chase just gave me a shrug. “Lot less sad when I’ve got a cock in my mouth,” he joked. “Or my cock inside someone. Or someone’s cock inside me—”

“I get it.”

“Fuck, I’m doing the TMI thing again. Sorry.”

I shook my head. “No. To be honest, that’s something I like aboutyou.”

His smile felt like a small gift. “You like my blabbermouth tendencies, and I like your awkwardness,” he said. “That’s a good combo.”

I pulled in a long breath of air. “So is this what you always do with your hookups? Take them out onto your balcony?”

He gave me a long look. “No,” he finally said. “Everything is different with you. I wasn’t inviting you here for a hookup, of course.”

“I see.”

His eyes searched my face, like he was wondering if he’d done something wrong. “And I feel like I’m clearly just making things worse, so I’m going to let you have some alone time out here, okay? You can come get me whenever you’re ready. Don’t sweat it.”

He turned to walk back inside and it felt like a small explosion went off inside me. I moved to reach for his hand, clasping it in mine, giving him a gentle pull back toward me.

His eyes briefly widened.

“You’re not making things worse,” I told him, my voice dropping lower. His hand was warm in mine and it felt like even that small touch had a throughline right to my cock.

It was the first time I’d ever made any move on another guy. Even the smallest thing, like reaching out to grab his hand with purpose, felt huge.

When he’d confirmed that hehadn’thad any idea of hooking up with me tonight, some part of me was disappointed. Of course I knew he wouldn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do, but…

Some part of me wished that I was someone he’d bring home.

Someone he’d drag into bed and have his way with.

“You sure I’m not making things worse?” he asked.

Unless you mean worse in the sense of making me really fucking turned on.

“You never make anything worse, as far as I can tell,” I told him. His hand was still in mine, and it felt like some sort of impossible miracle. How long had I wanted something as simple as a touch like that? Another guy’s hand in mine?

I wanted so much more.

“Then why do I feel like you’re so uncomfortable around me?” he asked, his voice gentle.

I let out a slow breath. “Because I’m holding back,” I said.

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