Page 107 of Power Play

It was there, this unsaid thing. Kit had obviously suspected. If I was being honest with myself, after she’d said it, I’d thought about it too. The way Tess laughed, just like my brother. And her nose was my dad’s nose. My nose, too.

I thought maybe I was just seeing something I wanted to see. Something I didn’t even know I wanted to see. Because she was an awesome kid and it would be remarkable to be a part of that.

“Liam,” she whispered. “Call Janice. Please.”

“I don’t need to,” I said, stepping past her towards the doorway.

“What do you mean?” she asked, putting her hand on my arm. Her fingers against the bare skin under the sleeve of my shirt. Her lips were sealed. Held so tight they were white.

I’d blown it with her last night, I knew that. Kept myself safe for no good reason. I could feel how much she wanted to leave. How being pulled into this drama hurt her because I had hurt her last night.

I hated that. This is why I liked casual. Casual meant no one got hurt.

“What do you mean, what do I mean?” I asked. It was obvious. Everything was really fucking obvious.

Our blood type and the stupid dimples. Tess’s nose and her laugh. It was May when Janice left me, left Portland. Tess’s birthday was in January.

She gaped at me and I took the food and fancy orange juice over to Tess on the couch, who was already asleep.

I set everything down on the table and Kit came right up behind me, grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me out onto the patio. The sun was fully up now and hot. I hated how it felt like a spotlight.

“You have to talk to Janice.”

“What does it change?” I asked her. “What does that do? Blow everything up? Make everything harder? Make her feel like shit and me furious? What good is that?”

She gaped at me. “The truth-”

“I know the truth.” I snarled and she reeled back. “Of course I know the truth. But what changes?”

“You have rights and you-”

“I’ll be seeing her more. I’ll be a part of her life. That’s all that matters, isn’t it?”

“Is that all you want?”

“What else is there?” She stared at me, her mouth open like she didn’t have any words for how stupid I was being.

“I think it’s best to just keep the fucking peace,” I snapped.

“Like you did with your mom? Your whole family?”

I reeled back, stung by her words.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“You know, maybe your obsession with the truth and everything being out in the open, even if it blows up a whole bunch of shit, is more about your dad than me?”

Now it was her turn to step back. Wounded. It was a low blow but I felt like I was fighting from my back.

“I want you to be happy. I want that girl in there to be happy. I know what it’s like when adults are keeping important secrets. It sucks. And you know it too. I think your mom had all these big emotions that were scary. So you made sure while you were managing everyone else’s feelings, not to feel too deeply yourself.”

“Kit. Stop. I’m not that fucking deep. You’re overreacting to this whole thing.”

“No. You’re under reacting. If you let this go without finding out the truth about who you are to that little girl, and letting her know… you’re not the man I thought you were.”

We stared at each other across the distance of the patio. She looked tired, dark circles under her eyes. She wore the same thing she wore last night. The same things I didn’t take off of her when I fucked her on the dresser like she was a stranger.

Suddenly, I could see the future. Two futures.

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