Page 44 of Yours, Truly

“Let’s go get some sleep,” he proposed. I lifted myself off him,holding my hand for him to grab as he led me to the bed. We snuggled into his king-size bed, covers wrapped around us, bodies close, gentle kisses as he drew circled on my back, until I fell asleep. I always slept better in his arms. And he knew it.

32

THE WILDCARD

I was adjusting to my new lifestyle; I was unemployed and having some time for myself before I figured out what was next. I had savings, in case of an emergency, so I knew I was okay for the next few months. Plus my parents and Nate had all offered to pay for my apartment or any bills until I was back on my feet. I suddenly had all the freedom that I had previously missed because of work.

I had been staying with Nate since that day and was barely at my apartment anymore, which made me wonder if giving it up would be an option in the near future.

It was a natural flow. Every morning I would wake up with him and, while he was in the shower, I usually made coffee for us both. Of course, some days I joined him in the shower to give him a morning he would think about all day!

I got to see him in a suit everyday and it never got old. He would give me a goodbye kiss and I would go about my day. Nate had told me to enjoy myself, to make myself at home and Idid just that.

Each day, I would make myself a nutritious breakfast, usually poached eggs, avocado, veggies, then read for an hour while that digested and then I would work out. My new daily routine would consist of an hour of yoga followed by 30-minute cardio.

I had to admit, I knew I was slightly curvy but I didn’t realise I was so out of shape. The exercise was good; not just for my body, but for my mind. I was getting more confident within myself; my anxiety had tamed.

I’d keep myself busy with chores, errands and working to better my future. And, when Nate finished work, we usually cooked dinner together or ordered some food in, caught up on our day and settled in to watch something on the TV, before we snuggled into bed together. We had settled into more of a solid couple routine now and, despite this, we kept our sex life as alive as we had before.

After the court case, I also reached out to Ivy. I’d apologised for being such a shit friend and told her the truth about the sexual assault. I needed her back in my life and, as difficult as it was to tell her every aspect of my life right now, we talked like we used to, which made me forget all the shit I had recently been dealing with. The only thing that was still untold was Nate and my relationship.

She was understanding as I unloaded, and didn’t push for any more information than I gave her, accepting that work and the court case was the sole reason that had kept us apart. Not the fact that I was lying to her that I was in a secret relationship with her brother.

I was ready to tell Ivy, I wanted to confess everything, but Nate insisted we wait until after the wedding. I think he was just as scared as I was. It was only for a couple more months that we needed to hide this. We just had to get Ivy through the wedding first. She was on cloud nine at the moment and I didn’t want to take that from her.

I also knew that I needed to uphold our promise to each other to meet regularly. I had been such a flaky friend lately and I needed to stop making excuses. Ivy had never let me down, she had been there for me even when her own life was falling apart.

Ivy was everything to me and I was acting like she wasn’t; I was letting her down. That needed to stop. Today. I had never broken any promises before so why was I doing it now?

Today Ivy had the day off work, so we decided to meet outside our favourite Starbucks. I hugged Ivy tight, not wanting to let her go, and I whispered an apology in her ear. I couldn't even begin to express how sorry I was. I welcomed the embrace and warm smile from her, drawing a line to start fresh.

After our long greeting we made our way inside to the smell of coffee and pastries filling the air, a soft pop music playlist coming from the speakers and the sound of the coffee machines humming in the background. We ordered our usual, and took our seats at a corner table by the window.

She caught me up on everything, from work to Jude and everything in between. Ivy was so positive, it felt good to be around her again. It was like the sun was always shining in herworld. Yes, she had bad days, but she never let them get to her which was something admired.

We started to chat about the wedding some more as I had neglected my role and duty to her. We had a few months left until the big day and Ivy had put off wanting to buy her wedding dress until I was ready to go with her. I felt bad as it didn’t leave us much time for her to find her dream dress. Based on the timescale we were on, it needed to be in alterations right now. We had all afternoon to go from boutique to boutique, there wasn’t a shortage of them here in London. I just regretted that Ivy had waited so long but I was honoured that she was willing to wait until we could go together, just like we had planned back in university.

“So, are you ready to help me find my dress?” she squealed, grabbing my hand. She pulled out the book she had prepped with designs and elements of gowns she had seen and told me she knew what she was looking for, that she knew she would buy her dress today. Ivy was always over prepared.

“Of course, let’s go!” I chuckled,I needed this.We gulped the last mouthfuls of our coffees and giggled as Ivy led the way to the bridal store.

The tiny bell chimed as we entered the boutique. It was so chic and clean; bright white walls, white decor and glass shelving. Rows and rows of beautiful gowns of all styles and shades of white were either on display paired with accessoriesor lined nicely in dust bags.

The assistant greeted us and let us browse so we could tell her what dresses to pull. Ivy’s face lit up when she saw the elegant lace gowns, the glamorous sparkle details and the silky numbers. She danced between them, running her hands over the fabric, looking at the necklines and fine details as she tried to pinpoint which ones she wanted to try. These gowns were beautiful and I was excited for her to see her try these on but it also made me curious when my time came which one I would choose.

“Ivy these are beautiful” I said, mesmerised at the perfect choices lined up around us.

“I know, how am I meant to choose?” she chuckled, still

fluttering around before placing a tiara on her head and striking a pose.

“Well, I think you will know it's your dress as soon as you put it on,” I smiled, reassuringly, “Plus, you already know what you’re looking for. Maybe try some of those and keep an open mind to try something… completely opposite.” She nodded as she looked at the veils hanging down the wall.

The store assistant came over to us, she asked Ivy to choose 5 dresses to start so we could get a feel for sizes, the styles and materials before taking us to the changing room where I sat outside the cubicle. The assistant brought the dresses to us and helped Ivy to get into them. I knew that would be my job as maid of honour on the day to make sure she was in and secure, that the dress and Ivy were perfect in every way.

“Who is he?” Ivy asked, guilt crept onto my face. I forgot I was smiling like an idiot at my phone. Ivy presented herself in a princess ball gown. She looked stunning but it wasn’t the one and she knew it. She went back in to try another dress.

“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to dodge the question while anxiety bubbled up.

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