Page 45 of First Comes Forever

The car isn’t running, but I grip the steering wheel tightly. “It’s taken eight years of obsessive focus to get rich. All I think about is money—how to keep it, how to make more of it. How to make Chase indispensable in the industry. I have nothing else.”

He must not have expected my candidness because he’s silent for a while as I reminisce on the last eight years. Working on Chase’s career has been a constant distraction, but now that my best friend is wrapped up in his happily ever after, I’m noticing how lonely it is to only care about making someone else’s dream come true.

“Well, you’ve got a pretty girl right upstairs,” Alex says, breaking the silence. “Maybe it’s time to think about something other than money.”

I shake my head. “That’s a dead end.”

“Come on,” he gripes, rolling his eyes. “You wouldn’t have given her your condo and the Porsche if she were a dead end, little brother.”

“Me, Alex. I’m the dead end. There are broken parts of me that can’t be fixed.”

“No, Adam.” He shifts in his seat so he’s facing me the best he can. “There are broken parts of you that you’reunwillingto fix.”

“Same difference,” I mutter.

“It’s not. Broken pieces are always meant to build better things. You see all the heartbreak you went through as the end. But it was really the beginning. You just never let yourself move forward.”

I shrug. “I’ve been this way for a long time. I don’t know how to move forward.”

“How about you start with a little faith that not every woman on this planet is going to screw you over.”

I raise my brows. “Imagine that.”

Alex chuckles. “All right, I need to get Carson loaded up. We have a long drive home, then I have to be up at the ass crack of dawn to bring him right back to you before my appointment.”

“That’s unnecessary. Why don’t you let me keep him tonight? Go get a good night’s rest and pick him up after your appointment.”

“You don’t have a car seat. How’re you going to get him to your home?”

I nod in the direction of the stairs. “Once upon a time, this was my home. I’m sure Amani’s fine with it. If nothing else, she still has the keys to her old apartment. We’ll figure it out. It’s fine.”

“Don’t offer if you don’t mean it because a good night’s sleep sounds tempting. Carson’s had me up for two nights straight.”

“Something wrong?” I ask, unnecessarily concerned. I give Alex shit for being a plastic surgeon, but let’s not forget who made it through medical school, licensing exams, and a surgical residency. Surely he can handle the medical needs of a toddler.

“Not at all. He just wakes up at one o’clock in the morning, on the dot, belting out his ABCs.” He opens the passenger door. “But you already offered, so enjoy that. No take backs.”

My brother treasures every minute he spends with his son. His reaction right now is more likely due to the fact that he’s exhausted and weary of driving his son forty-minutes through L.A. traffic to get home, especially after an emotionally taxing day with Dad. His shared custody arrangement with Tara requires so much damn driving. I know he doesn’t love it, and on more than one occasion he’s mentioned they should just be together—a real family. But Tara’s the one who pumps the brakes on a relationship. Based on the stories Alex has told me, she might be as damaged as I am.

Me

Hey, we’re back. In the parking lot. Is it okay if Carson and I sleep over, so Alex can get some sleep?

Amani

Of course. But don’t you dare knock. Use your key.

Me

Why?

Amani

I finally got him to sleep. I will throat punch you if you wake this child up.

I laugh to myself at the mental image of Amani balling up her small fist and swinging at me. She’s feisty. It’d probably hurt.

“Amani’s cool. Go home, rest. Call me after your appointment so I can make sure we’re home.”

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