Page 41 of Cooper

“Am I?”

“You are by far the sweetest man alive. I don’t know anyone that cares that much for her.” My eyes have adjusted to the darkness. I can see her chin quivering. “I love you so much.”

“I love you…God, London…I love you more with every breath I take. And that’s the truth.” I pull her to me, so we’re nose-to-nose. “I want you to stay with me. You and Bean.” I allow myself to feed off her vulnerability just for a moment. “No matter what happens, London. I know that there’s a lot you haven’t told me, but whatever happens, I’m here. I’ll be there for you, no matter what. If you need to go somewhere, I’m coming with you. You and I, we’re…we’re us. The love we have for each other can never be destroyed. I can feel it in my heart, London.”

Tears pour down her face. God, my heart breaks for her. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for her to keep all those secrets locked up inside for so long. I know how hard it is for her not to tell me. I love her so much, I could pour my soul out to her. There is nothing that she could tell me that would make me love her less. It would tear my heart out if I had to keep half of what she’s keeping from me, from her. I wish I could tell her that I know, but I can’t. She’ll be too scared. She’ll be fearful that she’s breaching some contract she has with the feds.

My arms are around her as she cries ugly tears. She’s so afraid. I can feel the lump in my throat, feeling her pain, wanting so badly to take it away. And then she says something that shocks the living shit out of me. “Cooper, I’m pregnant.”

I freeze. I’m not sure if I heard right. “Did you say…you’re…pregnant?”

She nods.

We haven’t been together that long. I have a fleeting thought that I need to confirm before I allow myself to think about anything else. “It’s not…James’s, is it?”

She chuckles, shaking her head. “No. God, no.”

I sit up in bed, my face lighting up. “Are you kidding me? We’re…we’re…having a baby?”

Another nod. “Yes. I wasn’t sure when I should tell you, but after what you just said, God, I want to tell you this, if nothing else.” She gasps, sitting up with me, steepling her hands over her nose, crying.

“Well, my God, London! I…I can’t believe it! I’m…I mean, we’re…I’m…I’m going to be a daddy?” I repeat, testing the words on my tongue.

“Are you happy?” She asks, checking. I suppose my stammering leaves a lot to be determined.

My eyes go to hers. “London, hands down, best news ever…and that includes when Wade told me I was in the band, AND when I got the job teaching music.” I pull her to me, squeezing her tight. “God, I love you so much, darlin’. Man, I know that Christmas is still a few weeks away, but, man, this is the best Christmas present, ever.”

“Are you sure? You’re not just freaked out and really good at acting like you’re happy?” She snuffles a laugh.

“No, baby. This is fabulous news.” I squeeze her once more and then pull back, so I can see her face. “Oh, hey, how are we going to tell Bean?”

“Well, do you think we should? I mean, shouldn’t we wait until after the first trimester?”

I scrunch up my face. “Why, exactly?”

“Well, it’s customary, to some, to wait until after the first trimester, so that in case anything happens, which is most common before three months, nobody has to know.”

“And you think that if anything happens, that Bean won’t pick up on that?” I point out. “Darlin’, Bean is like your rock. If you don’t tell that little girl that she’s going to be a big sister, and then she finds out that something happened to the pregnancy, how is that going to make her feel, huh? She’ll be devastated that you kept that from her.”

London considers that for a moment. “You’re right. Okay. We’ll tell her, but we have to wait until after the funeral.”

“Right, in case she gets totally bummed out from that.” I say, following along.

“Yeah. There’s no point in telling her and then telling her she’s got to go to her first funeral. That’ll take the wind out of her sails.”

“Exactly.”

We look at each other and smile. “Look at that.” She says. “It’s like we’re inside each other’s heads. We’re almost completing each other’s sentences.”

“Finishing our thoughts.”

“Yeah.” She looks at me.

Then I have a thought. “Oh…my God. I have the perfect way to tell her, too.”

“What?”

I give her a sideways glance. “Well, now I have a secret to keep from you.”

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