Page 54 of Kodiak's Heart

“You’ll have to get used to it,” Matheus said at her side. “I swear nothing is sacred in this family.”

“Em,” Laramie called to her, holding out his hand then seating her at the table so they could eat. She let the conversation roll around her, laughing with them but not offering a lot of input. Still, she felt as if she belonged, as if she were one of them. She promised herself she’d always protect them. If her father was right and she brought danger to this family, she’d do her all to keep them safe.

“Does anyone know how Rissa and Adam are?” she asked when there was a break in conversation.

“Rissa took it hard,” Slade told her. “She was blaming herself because Natalie came with them. Adam was angry they hadn’t realized anything. They were worried about you, about Ruby. Asked if they could see you before they were forced to leave.”

“Forced to leave?” Her gaze flew to Laramie.

“Not happening,” he assured her.

“I told them the same,” Slade said. “They want to be a part of our den. The others do, as well. As soon as the two of you took your vows and left, they swore allegiance to you. Most said they’d expected Emersyn to step in as alpha when her father died. It didn’t matter to them that she appeared human.”

It hit her again just how badly she’d abandoned her pack when they’d needed her most. She’d holed up with her grief, wrapping herself in Ruby and Malachi and excluding everything and everyone else. She didn’t deserve the loyalty they showed her. But she’d make damn sure she earned it going forward.

“They’ll stay,” she said then glanced at Laramie when the room went quiet. “We could use the numbers. They’re good people, and they need a home as much as Ruby and I do.”

He nodded in agreement. “Of course, they’re welcome here. Any member of your den will be.”

“Do we have enough room?” she asked.

“Plenty,” her mate assured her after sharing a look with Koby and Holt.

“I’ll need someone to bring me up-to-date on everything. Who does what and where you’ll need me to step in,” she continued as she pushed away her empty plate.

“Tomorrow,” Laramie said. “Each of my brothers will take a turn walking you through what they do. Milo and Fletch will go through security protocol. As my mate, you’ll have a guard anytime you’re out of my sight. No arguments on that.”

“And you? Will you have one when you’re out of my sight?” she asked.

“I always have someone watching my back,” he told her. “Even when they think I don’t know it.”

His brothers didn’t respond, but she knew he referred to them.

She nodded. “I’m going to check on Ruby.” When he started to rise, she placed a hand on his arm and shook her head. “I was hoping Sidia and Jaeda would go with me.”

She glanced at the other two women. Both of them nodded, stepping away from their mates. Sidia looked concerned, but Jaeda smiled, seeming unconcerned.

“We’d be happy to,” Jaeda said before giving her mate a kiss and heading toward the door.

Koby pulled in Sidia, whispered something in her ear then gave her a kiss. She nodded then turned to Emersyn. The other woman looked worried, and Emersyn knew she’d made the right choice in asking them to go with her downstairs. They needed to clear the air and show Ruby everything was okay between them. No more animosity or distrust. Whatever had been building between them had to end.

Both women were silent as they walked ahead of Emersyn. She felt a little envious when Jaeda reached for her twin’s hand and twined their fingers. Emersyn knew she’d never replace the bond she’d had with Amber, but she had the opportunity to be close with Malachi’s sisters. They merely had to get past all the loss and confusion and residual anger that continued to spill over.

They both paused outside Laramie’s door and waited for Emersyn to take the lead. She eased the door open and glanced toward the bed where strands of golden hair caught the hall light and shimmered. She walked over and glanced down at her sleeping angel. Ruby was on her side, both arms wrapped around the bear her father had sent her. Emersyn wanted nothing more than to crawl in beside her and wrap them both in her arms. But there were other things to address first.

She finally moved her glance to the chair where Xandra sat. The woman looked tired. Defeated. Emersyn didn’t like it one bit. She motioned for Xandra to precede her out of the room. She tugged the door closed behind her then turned and found Sidia and Jaeda seated on the floor while Xandra leaned against the wall. None of them said anything.

With a sigh, she slid down to sit cross-legged. “First, I want to say thank you.” She glanced up at Xandra. “I can’t tell you how much it meant to me that you were there to help get Ruby to safety.”

“She’s my niece.” There was that chip on Xandra’s shoulder. The one that always rubbed Emersyn the wrong way. She ignored it this time, understanding it came from a place of pain.

“She is, and I’d like for you to be close to her. I’d like for all of you to be a vital part of her life, and that means the four of us are going to have to make some peace for her sake. And Malachi’s. Because I’m not going anywhere,” she vowed.

“Of course not,” Jaeda agreed. “You and Laramie are mated now. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you.” Emersyn glanced at the other two women who remained silent. “We’ve all be through hell. We’ve lost people we loved. Yet, somehow, we’ve all remained. It’s not easy. Living without them. The guilt can be overwhelming. You never knew Ruby’s mother, Malachi’s mate, and you never will. That breaks my heart. Amber was an amazing woman. She always knew what to say and what to do and had a way of putting people at ease around her. I’m just the opposite. She was my cousin, but we were more like sisters. She was my best friend, and I found her…” Emersyn had to stop and swallow a few times before she could continue. “I found her with her belly split open. She’d cut Ruby free to save her life then died with her baby in her arms. I don’t know how long she lasted. I know it wasn’t long enough. It will never be fucking long enough. She was robbed of being a mother, of being Malachi’s mate and having more children. And there was a time when I begged God to let me trade places with her.”

Jaeda reached for Emersyn’s hand as if she couldn’t not reach out and offer comfort. Emersyn took it like a lifeline. She squeezed it tight, not bothering to wipe away the tears that streamed down her face.

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