Page 55 of Kodiak's Heart

“I felt guilty for living. Now… Now, I feel guilty for ever wanting to die. I wouldn’t have been able to watch Ruby grow up. Yes, I wanted Amber to be there for those moments, too. But I’m no longer seeing it as a her or me. It should have been both of us. We should have laughed and cried and celebrated and loved and had years and years together. But we didn’t. I lost her, and a few hours later, I found out my father and his enforcers had been attacked and killed. Your brother is fond of saying I saved him. That I pulled him through when he didn’t think he could go on, but the truth is, he saved me every bit as much. And we both had Ruby.”

Jaeda moved closer, sitting beside her and wrapping an arm around her. Sidia stretched her legs out, resting a foot by Emersyn’s thigh.

“I was with my dad when the attack happened.” Xandra had her arms wrapped around herself as she spoke. Both her sisters watched, but neither said anything as if afraid their sister would stop. “They came out of the air. We didn’t smell them. Had no clue they were even there. Dad told me to run, but I stayed, tried to fight. There were so many of them. Mom screamed. I still hear it in my nightmares some nights. She screamed, and Dad yelled again for me to run. I took off, heading for her and the sound. I…” She clenched her jaw, shook her head a few times as tears poured down her face. “Our youngest sister… They must have caught her as she ran for the den. I tried to stop the bleeding. I tried to… Mom was fighting, trying so hard to get to Saphira, but I knew it was too late. I think she did, too. Our eyes met briefly. She knew she wasn’t going to make it, and I knew what she wanted me to do.” She tried to stifle a sob as she fell to her knees. Both her sister moved to embrace her. “I know how guilty you both feel for hiding in the den that day, but I will thank God every day of my life that you did. That I didn’t lose you, too.” Her voice broke, turning to a whisper. “I can’t get the blood off my hands. No matter how many times I wash them.”

“I can’t forgive myself for not being out there,” Sidia admitted around a sob. “For hiding while my family was murdered.”

“No!” Xandra exclaimed. “It wouldn’t have changed anything, except I may have lost both of you, as well. Thinking you were there was the push I needed to go to the den. I… If you hadn’t been there, I’d be dead.”

The three sisters held tight to one another. Tears fell freely. Emersyn placed a hand across her belly, knowing new beginnings were exactly what were needed.

Xandra lifted her head and met Emersyn’s gaze. “I’m sorry.”

Emersyn crawled over to them and was pulled into the group hug. They were all crying. All bleeding from soul-deep wounds. But sharing was helping. Emersyn hoped it would help them heal. God knew, they needed it. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d allowed herself to cry, and she done it twice now since coming to Holloway land.

“I’ve been meaning to share something with you guys,” Sidia said into the silence once they were all cried out.

“Wait,” Emersyn broke in. “Should I leave? I don’t want to intrude on sister time.”

Xandra surprised them all with a laugh. “After all that blubbering, I’d say it’s safe to assume you’re one of us. God, I can’t remember the last time I let myself cry.”

It was Emersyn’s turn to laugh. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

“You two are so much alike,” Jaeda said then waved them to silence as she focused on Sidia. “Tell me! I’ve been dying for you to tell me!”

Sidia grinned. “I should have known you’d know. For those who aren’t my twin, I’m pregnant.”

They all squealed and hugged each other, laughing together.

“Is we having a sumbew pawty out hewe?” Ruby barreled out of the bedroom to join them, pouncing on Emersyn’s lap.

“Hey, baby bear.” Emersyn hugged Ruby close, kissing her head and rubbing her cheek across the baby-soft curls.

Jaeda cleared her throat, getting all their attention. Sidia’s eyes went wide. “You, too?”

Jaeda nodded. “Holt’s the only one who knows, right now. I was waiting for you to share. I thought I’d burst from how happy I am.”

Xandra glanced at Emersyn. “Don’t drink the water,” she whispered loudly. “It might be catching.”

“What is?” Ruby asked, making them all laugh again.

“Hate to break this up,” Laramie said as he stepped into the hall, “but my bed is calling, and for some reason, I’m exhausted.”

Emersyn blushed, and they all laughed again. The other Holloways followed Laramie, the unmated brothers calling out goodnights before disappearing into their rooms. The mates came for their women. Koby hauled Sidia up while Jaeda jumped to her feet and leapt into Holt’s arms. Declan walked toward Xandra. He stared at his mate then reached out to cup her face, his thumb brushing across her cheek.

“Okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She nodded then smiled. “I really am. Welcome to the family, Em.”

Laramie reached down to lift Ruby off Emersyn’s lap then held a hand out to help up his mate. “Ready for bed?”

“I not seepy,” Ruby stated around a yawn.

“That’s too bad,” Laramie said. “I wanted to show you the room we put together for you.”

“A woom!” Ruby exclaimed.

“A room?” Emersyn questioned.

“Follow me.”

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