Page 27 of Holding The Reins

She stands on her tiptoes, reaching for the top shelf. My gaze follows her hand to see the mug she’s after and there’s not a chance in hell she’s reaching it on her own. I’m finally able to stand, so I get up and move toward her until I’m directly behind her.

“You’re not reaching that, shortcake,” I say as I grab the mug down for her and set it on the counter in front of her. I’m almost wrapped around her at this angle, and I’m liking the idea of caging her in a little too much.

It goes against everything in me, but I back up.

“Sit,” I tell her. She looks at me with a ‘don’t tell me what to do’ face. I cock my head to the side.

“Since you weren’t dressed for company,” I say to her. “I’ll get your coffee for you.”

She wraps her robe around herself even tighter, she knows I’m right. What I don’t say is I haven’t gotten laid in well over a year and her ass in those shorts is too fucking much for me right now.

“Well, I didn’t expect some part-time cowboy to be sitting in my kitchen.”

“Darlin’, this is everyone’s kitchen.”

“I’m trying to get used to that again,” she says as she does what I command and sits at the table.

“Still two cream and one sugar?” I ask her.

“Surprised you remember. Yes, thanks.”

There really isn’t much I don’t remember about CeCe. I place the steaming Kentucky Derby mug in front of her. I can picture Wyatt sitting at his very table drinking from it on any given morning.

“I’ll never forget that day. You?” I ask as I return to my seat.

“How could I forget?” she replies and it makes me smile.

“I remember that whole spring like it was yesterday,” I say as I sip my coffee across from her.

She tosses her wild hair into a messy bun of sorts as she gets lost in the memory.

“I’ve never seen my dad so invested in a horse. I remember him taking you boys with him to everything. All the derby pre-race events, Arkansas, so many at Keeneland.”

A beat of silence passes.

“You know he never confirmed it, but I know…” I say, admitting something to her that I’ve never admitted to anyone. “He knew. He knew I needed it. Something to invest my time in, something to distract me from my reality.”

CeCe takes a sip of her coffee but says nothing. Tears fill her eyes and one spills over. I reach over without thinking and wipe it from her face. She freezes with the contact I just didn’t have control over. Be there for them when I’m gone. Especially the girls.

“Sometimes, life just isn’t fair. Taking him from us that quickly was definitely one of those times, but he was the best there ever was, we were all lucky to have him as long as we did.” I say it all the time, but somehow in this moment, it seems more significant.

A smile pushes through her tears.

“I still have my hat.” She laughs and I smile back, remembering that hideous looking purple fascinator.

“You looked like you were going to a royal wedding in that wild thing,” I say as I chuckle.

“And I’ve never seen all you boys so fancy like in all my life. Y’all looked so uncomfortable all day.”

I laugh even harder too, because her clear, bell laugh is contagious, always has been. She holds the mug up.

“Rising River,” she says, looking down where that old horse’s name is etched beside the year 2006—the year after my entire life changed forever.

“You still visit him?” CeCe asks.

“He’s the horse I ride most days,” I say back, honestly. I still can’t believe he kept him all these years but that horse was Wyatt’s biggest professional accomplishment and he couldn’t bear to give him up. “That horse lives better than all of us.” I chuckle

“Sure does.” She grins.

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