Page 107 of Holding The Reins

“They wanted to see you, I thought we could all have dinner together like old times,” he says, a smug look on his face.

Ipull my hood over my head. Seattle is cold, busy as fuck and rainy. Sure, it’s cultured and lively, but I don’t see any comparison to the rolling hills and sweeping valleys of Kentucky.

The air is thick with fog as I stalk into the restaurant I saw CeCe head into a few minutes ago. I’ve been tracking her whereabouts, thanks to none other than Ginger, who came in clutch and is also worried about CeCe spending part of this week alone with her dickhead ex.

I’m giving her space but if she thought for one second I was letting her do this alone with Andrew, she’s fucking crazier than I am. If he doesn’t touch her or try anything, then I’ll stay in the shadows and meet her at the airport tomorrow. I booked a flight on the same one she’s taking home.

But, if he even gestures to her the wrong way, I’ll rearrange his face and revel in every second of it. Everything in me tells me he’s just waiting for his opportunity, and I’m never wrong when it comes to my gut feelings about people. I’ve had his number pegged since the moment I laid eyes on him in the middle of Main Street.

I sit at a table in the dark corner where I can keep an eye on CeCe through the sea of people as the waitress drops a menu in front of me. I smile and order a coke. I’m fucking exhausted and some caffeine is just what I need.

After I took the night off from the bar Sunday night, I drank a half a bottle of bourbon and scrolled through photos of CeCe’s beautiful face on my phone while I blared every song Shania Twain ever made.

I woke up Monday at 3:13 a.m in a cold sweat, sick to my stomach with the nightmares I haven’t had in weeks since CeCe started sleeping beside me. In fact, there were many nights I woke up well past 3:13 with her hot little body beside me and felt comfort. Peace, for the first time in my life, and I’m the fucking bastard that didn’t tell her how I felt that before she left.

The only difference in my dream this time was that in the front seat of that car, it was CeCe and Wyatt, not my parents. The look in Wyatt’s eyes in my dream haunted me, before he looked back at me from the front seat and said, “Be there for them, especially the girls.”

The sheer weight of what an asshole I had been hits me like a Mack truck. I had one fucking shot to prove I was worthy of CeCe and I let her down—my fear and panic crippled me. Not fighting for her when I had the chance and telling her she’s become my whole fucking world was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.

Her words replayed through my mind like a reel. Love can be here one day and the next it can all go up in smoke. Those words, along with a hot shower and some Gatorade sobered me right the fuck up. I got my shit together, called my family and headed to the ranch, ready to risk everything and lay it all on the table.

It was just like any other Monday when I walked through the front door, only I had Jo invite Ginger and Olivia. I owed them all, every one of them, and I intended to speak my piece.

Wade grunted at me when he saw me come through but Cole looked indifferent. He poured me a glass of bourbon and slid it across the island. Although the last thing I felt like doing while still hungover was drink, I took it and knocked it on the table before clinking glasses with him—for Wyatt.

“Mabel is with Gemma tonight, so if you want to talk, you’ve got the floor. I didn’t like this one bit when Wade told me, but now, if you can prove to me you’re serious, I actually think you might be good for CeCe,” Cole said to me, under his breath. I nod, grateful for his small vote of confidence.

I looked around to the people I loved like my family, all of them, even the fucking pain-in-the-ass Ginger Danforth and laid it bare. I told them everything.

“Gimme one good reason not to smack you upside the head, Nash,” Ginger started.

“Take it easy, slugger,” Cole muttered to her as she cuffed him in the shoulder beside her.

I cleared my throat and took total command of the room, all eyes on me. I knew I had to start off with a bang.

“I deserve that, I should’ve told you all this before but I really fucking love her, I didn’t expect to love anyone, ever. This isn’t a fling. CeCe is it for me. She’s my future.” I looked directly at Wade.

“She’s everything to me, and now I’m afraid I may have lost her by not saying so when you came in the other night.”

“You haven’t lost her,” Ginger piped up across the table.

“She’s miserable in Seattle. I could hear it in her voice this morning when I talked to her. She’s hoping you come to your damn senses when she comes home Wednesday.”

“I thought the same thing,” Olivia added. “Like she’s just biding her time until she can come home. She said she wasn’t prepared for how uncomfortable she feels in that apartment.”

My chest tightened up immediately at the thought of CeCe being uncomfortable in any way.

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you all when this began, but neither of us could’ve predicted it. I love you all, you’re my family, and fuck, I love that beautiful, spark of a woman who lights me up like a firefly in the night more than anyone or anything. It’s important to me you understand my intentions. I’m going to Seattle. I’m done leaving CeCe on her own. She’ll never face anything on her own ever again. I don’t trust that Andrew fucker for one second. I can’t explain it, but my gut is telling me something is off about this whole trip.”

Mama Jo’s hand came across the table to mine and covered it as best she could with a weathered palm.

“I love you like my own son, Nash. There isn’t a man on this earth I would feel more comfortable with loving my baby, and I know Wyatt would say the same thing if he were here. You have our blessing.”

I covered her hand with mine and looked at Wade.

“I’m sorry, brother. I’m sorry you had to find out the way you did, and most of all, I’m sorry I didn’t speak up the other night.”

Wade leaned in to me across the table. “You better fucking be the stand-up man she needs. Just because I’ve known you my whole life doesn’t mean I won’t hesitate to kick your ass if I have to.” He grimaced across the table at me.

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