Page 66 of Holding The Reins

“I don’t know about you but he isn’t family if he’s fucking you ten ways from Sunday until the wee hours of the morning,” Ginger says confidently. “You’ll see.”

“I just don’t want to get hurt. If I let myself have any kind of feelings for him, I’m going to get hurt. I have to keep things platonic. Nash doesn’t want anything else and I’m not the hit-it-and-quit-it type.”

Olivia snorts back laughter. “I hate to tell you, but after last night I’d say you are—at least with him.”

I groan and pop my burnt mellow into my mouth. Damn Nash Carter and his perfect body, endearing personality and mind-blowing sexual tactics. Tomorrow, things will be just like before. I am good at faking it, I did it with Andrew for months. I can do this.

The bar is quiet for a Thursday, and I’m actually so fucking tired. Staying up with CeCe all night has taken its toll on me. I’ve almost texted her 15 times but I stop because I know she’s having a night with Mabel and I don’t want to suffocate her. I just can’t stop thinking about her and I have no idea how to handle this. This doesn’t happen to me. Women text me. Women chase me. I thought if I let this happen, I would get all these feelings out of my system but the exact opposite has happened—now that I’ve had CeCe, I only want her more.

“You know if you just text her, she’ll answer. Mabel’s in bed.” I look up from staring at my phone to see Ginger Danforth standing in my office doorway in a bubble gum pink t-shirt that says, ‘That’s a terrible idea, what time?’

“What do you want, Ginger? Is CeCe here?” My hope fizzles out when she shakes her head no.

“Nope, she’s at home, I just left her. I came just to see you, Nashby.”

Oh fuck.

“Don’t look so shocked, she didn’t tell me, I figured it out all on my own, and your secret is safe with me. I’m okay if Wade and Cole don’t know as long as when they find out, I have a front row seat to them handing you a beat down.” She giggles.

I take my hat off and rub my forehead. I’ve been going over any scenario in my mind where Wade and Cole would be okay with this and I come up dry every time.

“God dammit, Ginger. It was one night.”

“Yeah I know, that’s why I’m here.”

I look at her confused. Is she here to threaten me? I grin at her. I definitely get a small kick out of this. Ginger is a tiny little thing but she’s feisty as fuck and probably oddly strong.

I sit back in my chair and fold my arms across my chest.

“This where you tell me not to hurt your friend and all that?” I ask.

“No,” she scoffs and surprises me.

“I know you wouldn’t hurt, CeCe. This is where I tell you to get your head out of your ass and tell her how you so obviously feel about her.”

She’s too confident with that, so I deny it. Naturally.

“I like CeCe, respect her and care about her so much, but her brothers are my brothers. Her family is my family.”

“Bullshit,” Ginger says with a laugh like she sees right through me.

“You’re using them as an excuse. They’re grown ass men and CeCe is a grown woman. They’d get over it. You aren’t the traveling playboy you used to be. You’ve been home for months, and I see the difference in you. What you are is afraid, Nash. And not afraid that you’ll hurt her, you’re afraid she’ll hurt you, or you’ll lose her or some form of the two.”

I grunt in response but somewhere in my head, I know she’s right. We both know it.

“She just got out of a long toxic relationship,” I say, grasping.

“She’s been separated from Andrew in her heart for months. Since Wyatt died really, maybe even before that.”

She saunters over to me and points. “You need to stop making excuses and admit how you feel to yourself. Maybe it’s gonna take you some time, but you need to figure it out. A girl like CeCe doesn’t stay single for long. You should know that by the hordes of men you have to practically beat away with a stick every time we come into this bar.”

The thought of CeCe with any other man sends fire through my veins.

“What CeCe tells you and what she might want are different ends of the spectrum. I can tell by looking at you right now that you care about her. Don’t waste your chance. Let the universe take control for once. Just because you lost them doesn’t mean you’ll lose her too. God offers joy and pain. She isn’t that cruel.” She winks, and I gulp because Ginger’s words are way too close to home for my comfort.

“Okay, that’s it, Dr. Phil.” I get up and motion for the door.

“Think about it, and for what it’s worth, I’ve never seen her look the way she does when she mentions your name. Oh, and get that bar stocked with Pina Colada fixins. See ya tomorrow night if the creek don’t rise.” She ducks through my door and disappears into the crowd.

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