Page 37 of Footlights and Forever

I wanted to roar into the sky as I turned to see Dylan. His face crumpled right before me, tears springing to his eyes as he darted his gaze between me and Kevin.

“Dylan!” I barked, pushing Kevin back sharply. “It’s not what you think.”

“I’m an idiot,” he sighed, his body slumping forward as if defeated.

“No!” I shouted, pushing up out of the seat and moving towards him.

“Don’t!” His voice turned icy, the light in his eyes now dim as he regarded me coldly. “Don’t you dare come near me.”

“Baby please!” I tried once more.

His chilly gaze turned sad as he looked from me to Kevin, a small smile playing on his lips. “Well played,” he chuckled sadly, “he’s all yours.”

And without another word he turned and ran back into the house, leaving my world imploding around me.

Chapter 13

In high school, I was a total jock/extracurricular nerd/just plain nerd. – Mark Feuerstein

Austin

“Austin don’t!” I felt a hand tug on my elbow as I pushed away quickly from the bench. I pulled my arm away roughly like his touch had physically burned me.

“Hey, easy.” Kevin’s expression was wary as he held up his hands. “I think you should let him go.”

“What? No!” I didn’t understand what he was saying. Give Dylan up? Fuck that! This was all just a big understanding, he had to have seen that, right? What exactly had he seen? He must have seen me push Kevin off when he kissed me. I’d pushed him off, right?

“He will be too upset to talk to you right now.” Kevin moved to stand next to me, his hand coming up to rest on my back. He must have felt how my muscles stiffened under his touch as his hand dropped listlessly at his side.

“I need to go find him.” I looked helplessly at the house. “I need to let him know that this was nothing.”

“Nothing?” Kevin’s voice had me spinning on my heel to face him. He looked hurt and confused.

“Yes, nothing.” Kevin couldn’t have thought anything was going to happen between us. I didn’t think I had sent him any signals that could have made him think I’d given him the green light to make a move on me. “I love Dylan and I need to go find him and make sure he still knows that.”

“Yeah sure.” Kevin gestured meekly towards the house.

“Listen Kevin, you’re a great guy,” I started to walk slowly backwards, “but you’re nothing compared to him.” At that final nail in the coffin, I saw his face crumple as I turned to jog towards the house.

I threw the door leading into the kitchen open, looking between the groups of nameless faces to try to find the one face I actually wanted to see; actually, not wanted, needed to see. Panic clawed at my gut as my gaze jumped from face to face. I moved quickly down the hallways, opening every door I could find to no avail. I spotted Kyle through the crowd in the living room, slouched back on one of the sofas, flanked by two frat brothers. Both of them were looking at him like he was prime rib and they were starving.

“Kyle, have you seen Dylan?” I shouted across the room. Kyle’s head popped up as he spotted me across the crowd.

“Yeah, he was here a little while ago. I sent him to find you and Kevin.” He winked. The fucker actually winked. He must have seen the rage building on my face as he had the decency to pale. “Why, what’s up?”

“Why the fuck would you do that?” I slammed my fist down on a side table next to me. The red plastic cups that had been resting there tumbled over and fell to the floor. One of Kyle’s admirers’ eyes bugged out of his head as he pulled a tissue fromhis pocket in an attempt to mop up the spilled amber liquid that now oozed into the cream rug below.

“Dude!” he groaned as he called for another brother to bring him some towels.

“Why the fuck would I do what?” Kyle shouted over his head. “Tell him to go find his boyfriend?”

What could I say? Kyle was right; no matter what his motives had been, he wasn’t the one who’d fucked up. That honor belonged to me. I scanned the room and the rest of the house, but Dylan was nowhere to be found. He’d left. Left the party, and from the look on his face, he’d left me also.

I tried calling his phone but there was no answer, each of my messages left unread and my calls sent straight to answerphone. I tried Natalie but again, none of my calls were answered. I jogged down the street towards the lights of an open café, but a quick scan through the window tells me he wasn’t there. I watched as two men who looked to be in their late thirties sat across a small metal table from each other. Reaching across the table, they grasped each other’s hands and were chatting away like there wasn’t a crisis going on just outside the window. I looked down the street but didn’t spot him. I circled the block around the house, just hoping against hope that I found him.

I didn’t.

Part of me was angry with Kevin; a larger part was furious with myself, but a small part was also pissed at Dylan. Sure, I did let myself be in that position, but if he would have just held out for a second longer, or stood up for himself and swung for Kevin or even me, he would have given me the chance to tell him that it wasn’t what he’d thought. God, that sounded like such a cliché.

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