Page 97 of Embracing Trust

Merilee runs her hand up and down my back. “It’s okay. Let it out.”

After I can’t cry anymore, Merilee brings a box of tissues and I move back to my side of the couch. We sit in silence. The only sound is a few more of my sniffles and nose blows.

I shake my head in defeat. “I can’t do this anymore.” I pick up a bath towel from the pile and start to fold it.

Merilee picks up a hand towel, folds, and sets it aside. “You have two choices.”

I set the bath towel aside. “Only two?” I smirk. “Alcohol and ice cream?”

Merilee tosses her head from side to side as she considers those options. “I’d definitely go for the ice cream.” She picks up a washcloth. “You either go to him or you don’t. You’re either done with him or you’re not.”

I screw up my face and roll my eyes. “Thanks for coming over, Captain Obvious. Glad you stopped by.”

Merilee laughs and tosses a washcloth at me. “No, seriously. Think about it.”

I bite my lip. I miss him so much.

“I’m not going to tell you to do either one of them. That’s your choice.” She grabs another washcloth and folds it. “Just think about a few things.”

“Okay.” I stack all of the folded towels and washcloths into the laundry basket.

“You’re doing great. You’re doing great on your own without the help of a man, right?”

“True. I’ve redone this entire house on my own, I won the photo contest.” I shrug. “You’re right. I did all of that without a man.”

“You don’t need a man to provide for you, to fulfill you, or to make you who you are. You have a successful career, friends, family, and your life’s good. And most importantly, you’re happy.”

I’ve been happy, but Ryan made me happier. Although I don’t want to admit it to Merilee, he did fulfill something in me.

I give her a thumbs-up. “I am.”

“But, sometimes—”

“I knew there was a but coming.”

Merilee touches my hand and I’m still. “Yes. But sometimes you have to take risks. Take chances. There are no guarantees in this life. You have to decide if the love you share with Ryan is worth the risk, but only you can decide.”

“And just keep going back over and over again to have him destroy my heart?”

Merilee scoots back on the couch. “Let’s be honest. Tell me how many times Ryan has broken your heart. Be honest.”

“Twice.” I fold my knees in front of me and wrap my arms around myself.

“Okay. First time.” Merilee points to me. “Go.”

“Well, when he left for the Army.”

“Okay. What did he specifically do?”

I grumble. “Merilee.”

“No, come on.”

“We talked about him staying and he didn’t. We talked about getting married and then he left.”

“Did he break up with you?”

I groan.

---