Page 98 of Embracing Trust

I can see Merilee isn’t leaving until she finishes her interrogation.

She rises from her side of the sectional, sits next to me, and pats my leg. “What I’m trying to say is that Ryan didn’t intentionally break your heart. Although you were disappointed and felt abandoned when he left, he’s told you several times it was never his intention to break up with you. He did it to get away from his parents and try to improve himself.”

I shrug. “I guess.”

“Although you were angry and disappointed and you felt like he’d abandoned you, maybe it was more of your insecurity that broke your heart.”

“My father was always disappointing me—makingme feel insecure and abandoned. Always being gone when I needed him. Is that what you’re saying?”

Merilee hugs me. “You are my star pupil.” She releases her grip.

“So, technically, he’s only broken my heart once.”

“Because he didn’t talk to you about Aubree and he broke your trust.”

“Be honest with me,” I say as I push my messy hair out of my face. “Don’t you think what Ryan has done—not telling me about Aubree—would have been damaging toanyrelationship’s trust?”

“You mean if Ryan would have done this same thing to a girlfriend whodidn’thave trust issues?”

“Yes.”

Merilee ponders my question for a moment. “I’ll say Ryan has certainly crossed a line. I’m sure—for whatever it’s worth—he had his reasons for doing what he did.” She shrugs. “I’m not using his time in Afghanistan as an excuse for his behavior, but I’m sure it hasn’t helped with his reasoning or his ability to handle difficult situations.” Merilee tucks a few strands of her dark hair behind her ear. “Just think about everything. Your relationship at least deserves that, right?”

“I can’t handle this right now. It’s too overwhelming.” My head is spinning. I’ve barely eaten for the past two days.

“I’m not saying to run over there, I’m just saying to put things in perspective. He has some explaining to do on this Aubree thing. But I’m sure he loves you.”

“I’m sure he does, and I know I love him too.”

We’re quiet for a moment.

“And I hope you’re still planning to go to Denver. You’re going, right?”

“I guess, but it’s going to seem lonely without him.” I’d looked forward to Ryan making the trip with me.

“I think a weekend away—by yourself—would be good for you. It would give you time to think and make some decisions for yourself. It’ll be a fresh environment and you won’t sit around and stink upthisplace.” Merilee tosses a throw pillow my way. “Would you be offended if I told you a shower and a change of clothes would be great for you?”

I scoff in jest. “Are you implying that I’m odorous?”

“Yeah, you’re a little on the smelly side,” Merilee says with a grin. She tosses a towel and washcloth at me from the clothes basket, and I take off for my bathroom.

***

It’s amazing what a long hot shower, strawberry-scented body wash, and shampoo plus conditioner can do. After I dry off, I put on a clean pair of shorts and a clean t-shirt. The bathroom is filled with sweet-scented steam and I take a deep breath.

When I check my reflection as I comb out my wet hair, the dark circles that were under my eyes have faded a bit.

I get dressed and when I step out into my bedroom, Merilee is putting clean sheets on my bed. She’s opened the windows, shades, and curtains, and a light cool breeze is circulating in the room.

“Hey, you didn’t have to do that,” I tell her as I hurry to the bed to help with the bedding.

“Well, you’re not entertaining customers on those other sheets, are you?”

I toss a throw pillow at her and we laugh.

***

Merilee takes me out to dinner at a casual Italian restaurant in Castle. She insists it’s her treat. I spring for dessert. Although I don’t eat much, I have a bit more of an appetite. I take my leftovers home for later.

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