Page 4 of Embracing Trust

“Do what?”

“Dredge up everything. Go through it all. We’ve moved on and besides, I don’t want to make things awkward for Kevin and Amy since it istheirweekend.”

What can I say to that?

After dinner and the toasts from the father of the bride and not to be outdone, the father of the groom as well, we head over to the restaurant’s bar.

Mark and Brad pull some tables together as Kevin and I grab the chairs and the wedding party seat themselves. I’d like to sit next to Julia, but that would be too obvious, so instead, I opt to sit across the table from her. It isn’t long and the waitress shows up to take our drink orders. Julia stands, grabs her purse off the table, whispers something to Merilee, and makes her way toward the restrooms. I scoot out of my chair and follow her down the hall.

If she thinks she’s going to avoid me all weekend, that’s not happening.

Chapter Three

Julia

Although I know I can’t hide out in the ladies’ room all evening, at least I can try to get myself calmed down. My stomach is in knots and my emotions are like an out-of-control elevator. I’m all over the board with my feelings for him. I’m mad at him, but I’m mad at myself too for how unfair I was to him all those years ago. And dinner was uncomfortable, to say the least. How can I be angry, yet have butterflies dancing and my heart pounding like this?

Just get through tonight. The worst part of tonight is over. We’ve had our initial conversation, so now it’s time to be nice and move on.

I take a deep, confident breath as I study my reflection in the mirror. I pop my lipstick tube back into my clutch purse and head toward the bathroom door. I step out and there he is. Shit. He’s leaning against the wall in front of me.

“I’d like to talk to you.” He nods towards the exit leading outside.

Here we go. I may as well get this over with.

I nod my approval and follow him out the door and around the side of the building. He leans against the wall, and I face him, keeping my distance.

Ryan rubs the back of his neck. “Let’s not keep this up all weekend.”

“What?”

He growls. “You’re acting like it’s 100 percentmyfault for what happened between us.”

Memories flood my brain, and a war is on inside me. Part of me wants the good of what was once us and the other part knows we can never get back to that time. Oh, my heart. My heart aches as I fight to hold back my tears.

A group of customers passes us on the sidewalk, headed to the entryway. I move next to Ryan on the wall and face him.

“I’m sorry how everything turned out between us back then,” he starts. “I know you tried to talk to me. Honestly, I had no intention of breaking up.”

I sigh.

Why is he doing this? Is he trying to be nice or is he feeling guilty about what happened?I don’t mind being cordial with him, but if I accept his apology, it doesn’t mean I have to trust him.

“Jules. . .” his voice is barely above a whisper. He rubs the slight stubble on his chin, his eyes not breaking contact with mine.

I take a deep breath. “One minute I think we’re planning our future and the next minute you’ve decided to join the Army.”

“It was my parents—”

Always his parents—never letting him think for himself.

“I know,” I say. “Always making your decisions.”

Ryan stands up straighter. “This one I made on my own. Unfortunately, it ruined what I had with you.”

I squeeze my eyes shut.I should run and never stop, but I’m drawn to him—a magnetic force. I want…no, I need to hear what he has to say.

“But you didn’t seem to have any trouble moving on.” When I hear the coolness in his voice, the accusatory tone, I open my eyes. His entire demeanor has changed. He takes a step back and crosses his arms on his chest. His eyes are cold.

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