Page 3 of Embracing Trust

It all started in ninth grade when she blindsided my teenaged heart. The last thing I was expecting was to fall so hard for her. She was different than the other girls in my high school. She intrigued me with her wit and off-the-cuff comments. But besides that, she had another side that was serious, well-planned, and far from impromptu.

“Looks like this is the last seat,” she says as she pulls out the chair to my right and sits down. “Lucky me,” she says under her breath. And there’s the scent again. Strawberries maybe.Pull it together.

I rub the back of my buzzed head. “Hey.”

“Hey.” She isn’t looking at me. She carefully unfolds her cloth napkin, removes the silverware, and places the napkin neatly in her lap. She opens her small purse, takes out her cellphone, taps around, then puts it back into her purse.

Everyone around us at the table is engrossed in their own conversations, otherwise, I would be talking to them.

I loosen my tie a bit. It feels hot in here. I take a few gulps of water as the waiter makes his way around the table with the water pitcher. Being here and seeing Julia puts an ache in my gut and feels like a damn arrow piercing my heart. I’d be lying if I said she wasn’t as beautiful as she’s always been. More beautiful. She’s filled out in all the right places and the neckline on that dress has me wanting to peer inside.

Do I regret what happened between us? Hell, yes. But maybe she doesn’t understand, I needed to join the Army. For me. And for her. I wanted to be better for her and even though we had our plans all laid out, once I was recruited, there was no doubt being a part of something bigger was what’d been missing from my life. She was angry when I left, but I never thought leaving would break us up. After texts, phone calls, emails, and even letters that went unanswered, I faced the truth. We were over. When I tried to see her that first Christmas and found myself crashing a date, that was the nail in the coffin, so to speak.

“How’ve you been?” I can’t sit here all evening with this silence between us.

“Doing just fine.” She takes a sip of her water.

“Well…that’s good.” I give my tie another tug to loosen it.

The hostess shows up to take our drink orders. I order a beer. Julia asks for a glass of white wine. Mark is on my left, but he’s being a jabberjaw with Amy’s dad.

“So …” I begin, but I don’t know where to go from here.

“So?”

“Well, it’s good to see you.”

“It’s been a long time.” She brings the water glass to her lips again and I can’t help but stare at her.

The hostess brings the drinks to our group. She places a coaster in front of me, sets down my drink, and does the same for Julia.

“How’s your mom?” I lift my beer bottle and take a pull.

“Great. She’s remarried now.” She places her hands in her lap.

“Yeah, Patrick mentioned it. Good for her.”

“She lives in Fort Worth, so I miss her.” Julia sips her wine, sets the glass gently on the tablecloth, and turns her head toward me.

“And your sister?”

“Jaime’s up in Austin…just getting started on her graduate program. What about your family?”

“Folks are good. Dad’s still selling insurance and trying to find a son who will join him.” I laugh, but it sounds bitter, even to my own ears. “Mom’s cut her hours back at work and she’s doing more charity work.” I rub the back of my neck. “Actually, I got in late last night and I haven’t even seen them yet. That’s scheduled for Sunday.”

Julia’s eyebrows raise. “Wow. Busy weekend.” She takes a drink of her water. “Welcome back.”

“Thanks. I’m staying with Patrick and Lydia right now…You know…until I can get my own place.” I take another pull from my bottle. “I’m gonna be working with Patrick…starting in a few weeks.”

“Really? That’s great. I see his signs all over Castle and Claremont.”

My plane landed in Houston last night and I was greeted by my brother Patrick and my sister-in-law Lydia. After the three-hour drive to their home in Monroe, it didn’t leave much time to relax or catch up before this whole wedding weekend extravaganza. It’s hard to believe I closed the military chapter of my life—six years in the Army.

We drink in silence while the other members of our party are still engaged in their own conversations.

“Julia,” I start, lowering my voice and leaning toward her. “About…you know…everything.”

“I don’t want to do this. Especially not here. Not tonight.” She’s looking straight ahead.

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