Page 51 of Embracing Trust

I close my eyes. How could I forget one of our most romantic moments ever? We were rolling around on the sand behind some rocks, our swimming suits discarded with only a few beach towels between us.

“I’ve never forgotten it.” My voice sounds gravelly.

“I’ve thought back to that day so many times.”

“You have?”

“Yeah.” Ryan turns me around so we’re facing one another. “I should’ve pulled you on top of me and taken you that day. I always regretted that never happened. I always regretted we weren’t each other’s firsts.”

“That was a long time ago.”

Ryan pulls me into his warm body, and I can feel him hardening against me. He gently takes my face in both his hands and covers my mouth with his. I open for him, and his tongue finds mine.

His mouth moves to my ear. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

Oh, this is the man of my dreams. I thought only fantasies were made of sexy men who were at their lover’s beck and call.

I want so much. I want to share things that are too embarrassing to admit. I want to tell him how he’s made up for so much of my pleasure that’s been missing. He’s already done more for me than anyone else I’ve ever been with.

“I can see those wheels turning,” he says with a smirk.

I shake my head.

“I can see you have ideas. Tell me.”

I whisper my desires in his ear and he grins.

Admitting that no one has ever used their mouth for anything other than kissing is difficult to express. First of all, I don’t want him to think I’m some sort of freak for my naivety. I’ve only been with two men. Jeff was a one-time deal, and it was quick and unfulfilling—just to win a bet with his friends, I think. Dave was—not very adventurous and didn’t know what he was doing.

I give him a quick peck, slide out of bed and into the bathroom. When I see my reflection including my messy hair, swollen lips, and blotchy chest from Ryan’s scruff, it makes me smile. I open the closet door, reach into the back until I find the silk-covered hanger. Pulling it out, the lacy white robe still holds the price tag. An impulse buy that Merilee talked me into on a shopping trip in Austin. It’s been hanging in the back of the closet, waiting for what I considered a special occasion. Today feels like a special occasion. I slip on the robe and glance at my reflection again. I’ve changed since the day I made this special occasion purchase. I feel confident and I finally feel in charge of my life.

When I open the door and walk back into the bedroom, Ryan is sitting on the side of my bed. “Look at you,” he says as his eyes move up and down my body.

“Do you like?” I ask as I put my hands on my hips and strut to the bed.

He drops to his knees. “Take that off and lay down.”

The robe drops to the floor, and I lay down as he asked.

“Wrap your legs around my shoulders.”

Like some kind of magic genie who grants wishes, he knew exactly what I was hinting at when I whispered in his ear. First times can definitely be the best times—especially when I put my desires in the hands of such a capable lover.

Chapter Twenty-three

Ryan

The unexpected rainstorm sets up our spontaneous afternoon and I’m feeling like I won the lottery. Seeing Julia’s transparent white shirt in the storm sent my hormones into overdrive and I was more than ready to claim her.

Considering it was our first time together, there was nothing awkward about the whole experience. The afternoon in Julia’s arms felt like we had done made love a thousand times—both so in-tune with each other’s wants and needs. Although she seemed anxious about her inexperience, she was a natural, knowing how to satisfy my desires more than I could’ve ever imagined. She was all my fantasies fulfilled. Actually, even better than my fantasies.

After she falls apart in my arms, I grab a condom. When I’m buried inside her, this is no hook-up. This is making a connection with someone I really care about and different than anything I’ve had before.

After I fulfill a few of her requests, she lays quietly in my arms.

She’s so still. “Are you asleep?” I whisper.

“No. Are you?” I can hear the smile in her voice.

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