Page 41 of Shadows in Bloom

That was the last entry in the journal. There was no reply from Alandris, though the splotches of ink on the page indicated that he’d been formulating one. My hands were shaking as I closed the cover of the journal, making sure to place it exactly as I’d found it. I had to descend the stairs slowly. My legs were wobbling to the point it was difficult to keep my balance. Ibraced myself against the banister as I struggled to take enough air into my lungs.

Alandris was in the doorway by the time I reached the bottom step. His face twisted with concern. “What happened?” He rushed to my side, ready to steady me in his arms, but I jumped back.

My butt landed hard against the wooden step. “G-get away from me.” My lips trembled as I spoke, every memory between the two of us flashing in my mind. How long had he had the directive to murder me? How much of Alandris was real? I didn’t have the capacity to begin to think about what Lyandril had meant when he said I was a four-hundred-year-old monster. I was barely twenty-five.

Kallistra’s words echoed in my ears. The words I should have listened to.Do not trust him.

I watched him solve the puzzle in real time. What had me cowering from him. “You read the journal.” The words left his lips breathlessly. “Let me explain.”

“How long?” I struggled to bring myself to my feet, pushing my back against the wall as I attempted to move away from him and toward the front door. Hopefully, the conversation would distract him long enough for me to get away. “How long ago did he order you to kill me?”

“A few days, but please, Nairu—” He reached out to me and I shoved his hand away. “I have no intentions to harm you.”

“Were the Visumena your doing? Was the goal my death?”

“What? No!”

The shadows of my magic sputtered at my fingertips, as if sensing my fear. “I am not a monster!”

As I stepped through the doorway, my magic answered my wishes, erecting a dark wall of shadow between Alandris and I. It was stronger than anything I’d ever created before, but I knew it likely wouldn’t be long before he would burn through it with his flames. Our power levels were just too vast. I took what little opportunity I had and ran for the trees.

I spared only one glance behind me before making it to cover and found no one chasing behind me. The wall had held. Now, somewhere deep in the thickness of the trees, I could catch my breath.

I didn’t know where I’d intended to run to. I didn’t have any supplies, nor the faintest clue of which direction I’d gone. The trees surrounding me should have been suffocating, terrifying, but instead, they were a comfort. I leaned back against a thick trunk, bending over and gripping my knees. The tears that had been burning my eyes as I turned my back on Alandris were now flowing freely down my cheeks. I sucked in a sob, letting myself collapse to the ground, tucking my knees tight against my chest.

He’d said he had no intentions of harming me, but he’d kept Lyandril’s order a secret from me all the same. Every time I’d asked him if there’d been word from his mentor, he had lied to me and told me no. If that was not an admission of considering obeying Lyandril, then what was it? Did he truly think I was some centuries-old creature? I’d told him so muchof my past, things I’d never told anyone before. I’d told him of my childhood with Kallistra. Did he think us both monsters?

The only thing I couldn’t understand was how Lyandril had known my name. I’d never met him in my life. I hadn’t even heard of him before Alandris told me of him. I’d never ventured to the Mages Consortium, either. Our worlds were completely separate.

My head was throbbing with a horrible, sharp pain. Splotches of white were fading in and out of my vision. Right when I thought I’d lose consciousness, I heard that wicked, distorted voice from my nightmares in my head.

My dear child. I warned you.

“Shut up!” I screeched, burying my hands in my hair.

It is only us. As it always will be. Did you not learn your lesson? I am inevitable. No matter what path you take, it will always end the same. That is the beauty of our fate. All roads lead to me.

Covering my ears did nothing to stop the voice. “What are you?” I bit out.

You are still too weak, my child. The answer to what I am will be the death of you. There is only one thing you need to know—you are mine.

“Just shut up!” I screamed. If I pushed against the sides of my head any harder, it would burst. “Stop! Please stop!” Sobs wracked my entire body as I continued to shout the words over and over.

Chapter 20

Iwas still screaming when he found me. The voice had long vanished from my mind, but its words continued to reverberate in my ears, like a sick song on an endless loop. Such intense terror washed over me that I didn’t make any effort to pull away when Alandris held my trembling body against his chest. I embraced his warmth as if it held my salvation.

He let me lie there against him until my shivering stopped and the tears had dried from my eyes, all the while running a hand down my hair, comforting me. Waiting patiently in silence, until I was able to articulate the words to explain what had happened. It may have been hours he waited. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. I only knew the sun had begun to set.

When I shifted in his arms to face him, I was acutely aware of the fact that I’d been trying to escape him. Running from him.From the pain of his betrayal. Yet when I looked in his face and saw the distress in his eyes, the slight frown of his parted lips, I was incapable of holding on to my anger. In the here and now he was just Alandris—the male I’d shared some of the deepest parts of my soul with. Fears and dreams that had never before left my mouth. And I desperately wanted and needed him here with me.

“What happened?” His voice was ragged, lacking its usual composure.

“That thing I’d manifested during our training returned.” My throat was so raw from my screams I could barely manage a whisper. “It was only in my head this time, but the voice was the same. The very same one from my nightmares. It was taunting me.”

Alandris brushed the remaining tears from my cheeks, dragging his thumb along the curve of my jaw. “Do you know what it wants?”

I welcomed his touch, leaning into him. “No, but your Lyandril was right. There is something wrong with me—with my magic. I don’t know what it is. I don’t want to believe I am this monstrous evil creature he claims me to be, but I sense it within me. That wicked thing is a part of me, and it is growing closer and closer to blurring the boundaries between us. I fear it will consume me.”

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