Page 25 of Catch a Wave

Only, this week’s events have awakened something in me and now I’m restless for the first time in over a year. I missed the best chance I had—a life with Mavs, traveling the world together. Eventually settling down—or not. Her in my arms every night. Us possibly starting a family. We dreamt of all that once. Lived out part of it. And then the rug was yanked and I blew it.

I thought I had dealt with my regrets. But seeing her tells me I never got near to anything but the tip of the iceberg of my grief over that season of my life and what my choices cost me.

“You’re going to do it, right?” Cam’s voice snaps me out of yet another mental spiral.

“Not sure.”

I’m still looking at Kai, who has a very smug look on his face. He knows his work here is done. He doesn’t have to nag me now that Cam and Ben are joining him in the choir of men chiming in on my life choices.

“Why not?” Ben asks. “I’d kill to get a chance like that. Well, not kill. But man. That’s awesome.”

Cam studies me. “What’s holding you back?”

“I don’t know.”

Kai’s face softens. He knows. He walked me through the first year after my accident.

I finally throw my friends a bone. “I haven’t competed since my accident a few years back.”

“Time to get on the horse and ride, then,” Ben says. “You’re not getting younger. It’s never good to let our final experience be a fall. I get it if you don’t ride double overhead again. But this isn’t big wave surf, is it?”

“Nah. Maybe overhead on a freak day, but it’s usually more chill there in the summer. Clean rights and lefts under the right conditions, but nothing too gnarly.”

“Sounds like a good day on the water to me,” Ben says breezily.

He makes it sound like a no-brainer.

“We could make a trip of it,” Cam suggests.

His gaze tells me he’s reading all the layers beneath my hesitation.

“Maybe,” I say. “Let’s check the coals before they burn down. I got steaks and have been marinating them since this morning.”

“Say less!” Ben says, hopping up. “Summer’s been trying to learn how to cook again. I’m starving.”

We all laugh at that, and Kai gives me one more meaningful look before following Ben and Cam out our back door to the large side yard where the grill is sitting ready for the steaks.

KALAINE

(THE THIRD TIME WE SAW ONE ANOTHER …)

When I follow my heart, I wake up in Bali.

~ Unknown

“Welcome to Uluwatu,” the hotel bellboy says as he drops my duffle on the floor by the foot of my bed.

It’s not a glamorous bag, but it suits me and my lifestyle. I bought it last year at a flea market in Hilo when my family visited my mom’s relatives for a weekend. It’s paisley and floppy and whimsical. My duffle feels like me—but in luggage form. The porter turns and pulls Leilani’s three designer suitcases off the rolling cart and carefully wheels them one by one into the closet.

“Oh my gosh!” Leilani practically squeals. “This place is perfection.”

“You know that, right?” Leilani turns to our bellboy. “You live in freaking paradise.”

“Yes, ma’am. If you say so, ma’am.”

“I do. I do say so. What is your name?” She squints at his name badge. “Arif. Arif, this is paradise. And I’m from Hawaii. I know paradise. But, hello. Look at this.”

She waves her arm toward the corner of the room where one wall of windows meets another adjacent wall of windows. Only that second wall has double glass doors leading to a wooden deck with stairs heading down to a pathway.

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