Page 105 of Catch a Wave

“I can’t promise that.”

His face contorts a little.

“I won’t promise not to bend or sacrifice for you. Life isn’t about grabbing up our own joy and achieving our own goals at the expense of the people who matter most to us.”

He’s not convinced. I see it in his eyes, so I press on. “When you choose life with someone, you choose to include them. This is a partnership, Bo. And if we go forward together, we’ll both be giving something up—probably regularly. But I believe what we’ll gain in exchange for those concessions will be worth it.”

“How’d you get so smart?” He smiles down at me.

I smile back and lean into him so he can hold me.

“I want this, Mavs. Us. I want us. All of it.”

“Then let’s get it—all of it, together.”

“Is that everything?”Kai asks me for the third time.

“Yes. I’m not moving out, I’m just going away for four days. Chillax, Kai.’”

“I’m so chill. This is me, your not-intense-bodyguard being super-chill.”

He waves a hand up and down in front of his torso and then raises both hands in a gesture of innocence. He is getting better. But old habits die hard. I’m giving him grace.

I went to Huntington to see Leilani last week. She and I rode together. It was the sweetest time, seeing her, riding waves together, hanging out afterward. A few reporters approached me when I came out of the water after a sesh with Lei. I talked with them about my plans. Dan and I decided I’d start preparing to compete again. Bodhi is one hundred percent behind me. Would I rather he be at my side? Yes. But we have an understanding. I won’t push him. And he won’t withhold his heart. He’ll let me in, and we’ll navigate the hard choices together.

I pick up my duffel and walk toward the door. Bodhi’s teaching a surf lesson this morning, so Kai brought a golf cart around to take me to the ferry. I throw my things into the cartand take the passenger seat next to Kai. As he pulls away from the house, I stare at the porch, remembering the day I showed up here, confused and searching. Bodhi answered the door—the man I didn’t want to see, but longed for at a cellular level with a yearning that never diminished despite two years of separation. And now, I’m on my way to surf in a competition for charity—to see my surfing ohana, the family of extended friends who live for that one next ride.

A part of me believes Bodhi should push through his resistance and come along, but I haven’t said anything since our conversations weeks ago. If our relationship is going to work, I have to give him the honor of choosing his own pacing and limits.

Kai parks the golf cart at the edge of the sand. We grab my things and walk toward the ferry. I wish Bodhi were here to see me off, but he’s got his job. He’s teaching someone to surf. That’s important in its own way.

As I come to the end of the dock, a man emerges from the interior cabin of the ferry. I expect a crew member to help me with my board.

I blink. “Bodhi?”

“Yeah.” His face breaks into a lopsided smile.

“What are you doing here?”

I look back at Kai. “Did you know he was here?”

I can’t believe he came here just to see me off.

Kai smiles and tips his chin toward Bodhi.

Bodhi steps off the boat and onto the dock. “I couldn’t let you move on without me. Not this time. I called Jammer last night. I’m coming to San Diego. I’m going to surf with you there. And I’m even going to play with the band.”

I throw my arms around Bodhi’s neck.

“You’re coming! Are you sure?”

Bodhi holds me tight and murmurs into my hair. “I’m sure, Mavs.”

Then he pulls back and looks me in the eyes. “I got to thinking. And then Kai and I were talking a few nights ago. I can live a half life, playing it safe, or I can go all in. And I want the whole picture. I want you and me together, traveling, surfing, all of it. I don’t know when I became the guy who played it safe. But I’m ready to risk again.”

I smile up at Bodhi. “You are the bravest man I know.”

Bodhi’s voice is quiet, obviously trying to keep his words between the two of us. “You make me brave. You make me want to take all the chances.”

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