Page 41 of The Light We Lost

I laughed, not sure how I managed through the twinge of pain in my chest. “I’m sorry.” When I moved to the East Coast, I’d considering reaching out to Levi—he’d always been special to me—but I’d convinced myself it was better I didn’t. I’d never once considered how that could’ve made him feel. “You couldn’t stop existing even if you tried, Levi. But I promise I’ll do a better job of showing it.”

He wiggled his brows, his grin boyish and young. “You better. Especially since I’m technically still yourbrother-in-law—”

I groaned, hiding my face in my hands at the sound of his laughter. When I’d called Levi before my flight to invite him, I thought he’d be shocked to hear I was still married to his brother, but Nolan had already told him. I might’ve been annoyed had I not been so envious over how open and unabashedly himself Nolan was with his family.

He used to hide from them, but it was obvious he didn’t anymore.

Before I could stew in self-pity, Levi put his hand on the small of my back. “Come on, you owe me a dance.”

“What?”

“I told you: I figured out how you can make up for ignoring me, and this is it.” He ushered me toward the dance floor, even as I pushed down on my heels, protesting. I hadn’t danced in years, and while I was fine embarrassing myself, I didn’twantto dance. Levi must’ve realized I was one second away from bolting and mustered up the best puppy dog eyes he could. “Please? It’ll make all my wildest dreams come true.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine.” One dance wouldn’t kill me. I grabbed his hand, putting it on my waist. “My feet aren’t leaving the ground, and if you even try, you’ll find my shoe where the sun don’t shine.”

“Deal.” His other hand found my waist, prompting me to put mine on his shoulders. “But I was really hoping you’d pickmeup.”

I laughed, and it was distraction enough that I didn’t panic when I realized the song we were stepping into was some kind of hip-hop—and most everyone around us was grinding on each other. Levi must’ve been as uninterested in doing that with me as I was with him, as he kept us at a slow two-step. But I learned this might not be about dancing at all when he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of us.

“Why did you send a picture of us to Brooks?” I asked, seeing his brother’s name on the message.

He gave me a sheepish look. “A couple years ago, Nolan danced with Brooks’s girl. He’ll be happy to see justice served.”

I shook my head, and before I could remind him I wasn’t Nolan’s girl, I spotted something else on his phone. “Was that . . . was that your niece?”

“Yeah. Wren—but we usually call her Winnie. Have you met her yet?”

“No,” I rasped, only now learning her name. Sensing my curiosity, Levi handed me his phone, this time with a photo of his niece on the screen. I’d caught a glimpse of it at the game when he’d shown me his artwork, but I’d been too afraid to look.

Heart burning, I peered down at the picture, immediately drawn to the little girl’s eyes. They were blue and round, full of genuine joy. She was propped between Nolan’s and Levi’s shoulders, her fists tangled in their hair, the three of them wearing silly grins.

“She’s beautiful.” When he didn’t ask for his phone back, I continued to look through his photos, namely the ones of his niece. “You can definitely see pieces of Brooks in her.”

“It’s funny how life works out like that,” he agreed, a bit of awe in his voice. “Shay says it’s because she was meant to find Brooks.”

“What’s their story?” I asked, gathering there was something more, though I wasn’t sure I deserved to know.

Whether I did or didn’t, Levi told me anyway. “About a year after Dad died, and Brooks was about to drive Nolan and me up a wall, Shay moved into town. He was bound and determined to make her get lost, but she wouldn’t have it.” He shook his head, smiling to himself. “There’s a whole lot more to it, and I’m sure if you asked Shay, she’d tell you, but she’d found herself in a bad situation. Instead of letting it break her, she broke free instead. She moved to Wallowpine, alone and pregnant, to start her own life. Lucky for Nolan and me, she made room for Brooks too. They got married, and he officially adopted Wren shortly after that.”

Warmth flooded my chest, and I was surprised with how good it felt to know Brooks had found something worthwhile. “Her name is Wren . . . Is she named after Jake’s wife?”

He smiled, but this time I could see the sorrow in his eyes. Sorrow we all felt. “The one and only.”

I pressed my lips together, not knowing what to say. Wren had been a phenomenal woman. She’d always been in my corner. I was grateful to knowshe must’ve impacted Brooks and even Shay enough that they’d named their daughter after her. I was glad a piece of her lived on.

“Nolan . . . he didn’t tell you any of this?” Levi asked.

“I didn’t ask.” I avoided his gaze, not wanting him to see my shame. The regret I’d felt for not wanting to know, thinking it was better to stay in the dark. “I’m still learning how to be around Nolan again.”

Levi closed his mouth, his shoulders rising with a deep breath. “If I’m being honest, I’m surprised you two ever learned how to live without the other.”

Needing a break, I thanked him for the dance and slid off to the bathroom. Locking the door behind me, I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to relax. To forget Levi’s words, and everything they’d brought to the surface. No matter how I tried, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever learned how to live without Nolan. But I wasn’t about to admit something so vulnerable to anyone. How it felt like I was simply going through the motions—focused on graduating, the internship—all while keeping my eye on the end goal. I was barely living at all. But anytime I slowed down, life caught up to me and reminded me why I was running in the first place. After everything I’d done, the heartbreak I’d inflicted and the life I’d stolen, I had to make it right.

I had to keep going.

After patting myself down with a damp paper towel, I combed my fingers through my hair, cringing at the mess—I was Raggedy Ann reincarnated. Curls were high-maintenance, and I hadn’t shown my hair the care it deserved in years. Accepting there was no hope in taming my curls tonight, I slipped out of the bathroom and into the hall.

The lighting was dim, the music distracting enough I almost didn’t spot the figure leaning against the wall. “You warmed up for me?” Nolan’s arms were loosely crossed over his chest. He wore his ball cap backward, and his jeans were worn and faded, as were his boots. There was no denying how out of place he looked in the city, nor howgoodhe looked. “I can wait all night if I have to, but I want to dance with you.”

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