Page 10 of Her Protective Lumberjack

I swallow hard. “You mean when you were in the military?”

“Not exactly.” Trace’s jaw is clenched. He’s holding his skewer so tightly that his fist is trembling, and I immediately regret pushing him to talk.

“I’m sorry,” I say, shaking my head. “You don’t need to talk about it, I shouldn’t have?—”

“Don’t apologize, Chloe.” Trace’s eyes soften as he looks at me. “You can ask me anything you want.” He sets down his skewer, abandoning his hotdog for Rocky to eat. “Remember how I mentioned Nolan? Well, like I said, the three of us were best friends: your dad, Nolan, and me. Even after Roman left the military, we all stayed in touch, and Nolan and I kept on serving together. He was like a brother to me.”

My stomach sinks. I have a feeling I know where this is going, but I don’t interrupt.

“He died five years ago,” Trace says finally, absent-mindedly throwing a tuft of grass into the flames.

“I’m so sorry.” My throat clogs with sympathy at the pain on his face. “Did he die in combat?”

Trace closes his eyes for a moment and shakes his head. “It’s a terrible thing to say, but in some ways, it would have been better if hehaddied in combat. Might have been easier to accept. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so damn guilty.” He lets out a deep breath. “Nolan killed himself. He was discharged from the army with PTSD. Left a year after I did. Three months later, he was dead.”

“Oh, Trace…” My hand goes to my mouth, my chest tightening.

He must hear the pain in my voice because he reaches out to grab my other hand, like I’m the one who needs comforting. “Yeah. It sucks. Keeps me up at night sometimes, thinking about what I should have done differently.” He swallows hard, blinking at the fire with pain-filled eyes.

“It’s not your fault,” I tell him firmly. “Believe me, I know all about guilt. For the longest time, I blamed myself for my parents’ addiction. But the truth is, we can’t control what happens to other people, even if we wish we could.” In mymind’s eye, I see the blurry photo from my mom’s obituary, swallowing down a wave of grief as I say, “We can’t control what they do, and we can’t always save them. But Nolan was lucky to have you as a friend. He was lucky to have somebody who cared so much about him, and I’m sure he knew how much he meant to you.”

Trace is quiet for several moments, his eyes still fixed on the fire. Then he moves. He lets go of my hand and reaches his arm around my shoulders instead, pulling me against him.

“Thanks, Chloe,” he says, rubbing my arm gently. “I mean it. It’s been a long time since I talked about Nolan.”

“I wonder why my dad never mentioned him to me.”

Trace makes a noise in his throat, something between a laugh and a grunt. “He didn’t mention it because he’s just like me. Your dad’s a brave man, but he’s not big on sharing his problems.”

I hum in agreement, but thinking about my dad brings another torrent of complicated feelings. Trace is right—my dad is brave. The bravest man I know. That’s why he’s in Phoenix, bringing down Will Mercer, instead of hiding away in Colorado like me. Yet, despite the guilt, it feels so good to have Trace’s strong arm wrapped around me. His body is hard and powerful, and it’s all too easy to melt against him, breathing in his masculine, pine-fresh scent. The atmosphere between us is raw with emotion, the air thick from tension and woodsmoke.

I lift my head from Trace’s shoulder, and my heart jolts when I see he’s looking straight at me, his chocolate-brown eyes glowing golden in the firelight. He’s so handsome. My gaze flickers to his beard…his lips. My skin is burning, but it has nothing to do with the blaze in front of us. Blood is rushing to my head, my veins bubbling with anticipation. I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol, but I feel drunk and heady as Trace looks at me hungrily, making my breath come out in shallow gasps.

All at once, he’s leaning in until I can see the gold flecks in his irises, the silver hairs in his beard, the deep grooves on his forehead. His beard brushes my chin, his hand resting against the back of my head as he closes the space between us. My heart somersaults as our lips meet. It’s like an electric shock, making my nerves buzz with energy as he pulls me close, groaning deeply. He tastes wild and musky, and heat shoots between my thighs, making me shudder as Trace deepens our kiss. His desperate tongue slips between my lips, dominating my mouth, overwhelming me. Teeth clash, hands grab wildly, and I can see dancing flames behind my closed eyes, feel desire burning in my core…

Bzzz. Bzzz.

The chirp of my cell phone brings me back to reality and I pull away from Trace with a gasp. My head is spinning. It takes me a moment to come back to myself, and my heart sinks as I reach down to touch my vibrating phone. I’m sure it’s my dad texting me, and guilt hits me like a punch to the gut, leaving me cold. I can’t bring myself to look at Trace.

“Chloe—” he says, as I push myself off the ground, looking anywhere but him.

“I should go to bed.” My voice comes out in a whisper. “Thanks for dinner. Goodnight, Trace.”

Before I can change my mind, I turn my back on him and scurry into the cabin, heading straight for the guestroom. Once I’m shut inside, I check my phone, wincing as I read my dad’s words.

Investigation is going well. Nearly have enough evidence to nail Mercer. You’ll be home in no time. Hope you and Trace are getting along okay. See you soon. Love you, Coco.

Shame sits heavily in my throat as I tap out a quick reply.

That’s great news, Dad. Love you too. Can’t wait to see you.

It’s not a lie. I miss my dad, and I hope I get to see him soon. But knowing that I’ll be able to go back to Phoenix doesn’t make me as happy as it should. The thought of leaving Trace behind fills me with far more dread than Will Mercer or his death threats, and I bury my face in my pillow, letting out a muffled groan. I can still taste Trace on my tongue. My whole body is wracked with frustration, and I pull the covers up over my head, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. It’s what I used to do when I was a kid. When things got too much, I’d hide away and block out the world, pretending it didn’t exist. But this time, it doesn’t work. Even when I eventually drift off into a restless sleep, my dreams are full of Trace’s handsome face.

6

TRACE

I stay outside for hours,watching the fire die down to nothing but smoldering ash. My head is racing with thoughts, my lips still tingling where Chloe’s mouth met mine. As the sky darkens to black and the stars twinkle overhead, I force myself off the ground and stretch my aching legs before taking a seat by the front door instead, keeping watch. Anything to keep the girl in my cabin safe. The girl who has turned my whole damn world upside down.

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