Page 75 of Alpha Theo

I’m walking back to my room when my world is rocked off its axis again. Theo’s staggering into the dorms on the other end of the hallway, slapping a palm up against the wall to steady himself. Even from a distance, I can tell just by looking at him how drunk he is. I stop in my tracks, staring at the beautiful man who so cruelly left me on the side of the road earlier tonight.

Then someone comes up behind him- a beautiful brunette that I recognize as Sutton, a female squad member. She’s smiling, winding an arm around his waist, pressing herself against him as she says something that I can’t hear from this end of the hallway.

Theo and I lock eyes.

It feels like my heart is splintering apart inside my chest. Even though I’ve gazed into those gorgeous hazel eyes so many times, it’s like I’m looking at a stranger. I can’t bear it.

I dart my eyes away. Jog the last few steps to my room. Duck inside and slam the door closed behind me, locking it.

I sag back against the door, drawing ragged breaths. I didn’t think I had any tears left to cry, but more come- slipping out of my eyes, spilling down my cheeks. I sink to the ground, my throat raw, my chest aching.

I’ve never felt so devastated. And it’s not even his fault- it’s all my own. Theo showed me who he really was from the beginning. I was the one that was foolish enough to think he was different, to think he could change. To think there was something special blooming between us. I curse myself for being so naïve.

For someone known as the ‘smart girl’, I’ve never felt so stupid.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Theo

My head is pounding when I squint my eyes open, rolling over in my bed. Judging from the light spilling in through the crack in the curtains, it’s late in the morning- maybe even early afternoon. I throw the sheets off and heave my body upright, twisting to set my feet on the floor. My hand flies to my temple, the pain of my headache searing with every movement.

I push off of the bed, rise to stand. Take a step and fall backwards onto my bed again, startled by the sharp sting of pain radiating from the bottom of my foot.

What the fuck?

I lean forward, peering down at the floor beside my bed. The lamp that was on my nightstand is lying on its side, surrounded by thin shards of glass from the shattered bulb.

I pick up my foot, raising it to my lap and turning it sideways. A piece of glass is sticking out of the bottom, dark red blood pooling around it. I pick it out, stare at my foot as my shifter healing kicks in and works to knit the skin back together.

What the fuck happened last night?

I look around my room, blinking, trying to piece it all together. And then my eyes land on the leather jacket that I bought for Brooke wadded up on the floor by my nightstand and it all comes flooding back.

I finally got Brooke on my bike.Fuck, I can still picture her spinning around after I put that jacket on her, asking how she looked. I can still feel the sensation of her legs spread behind mine, her body pressed to my back, her arms around my waist. I can still taste the thrill of the adrenaline coursing through my veins when I pushed off, started down the road.

And then things went so fucking wrong. I didn’t mean to drive like that- I was just so fucking jacked to have her on the back of my bike. My wolf was going absolutely nuts, too- he was practically driving the bike for me. I heard Brooke screaming but by the time I picked up on the distress in her voice, I couldn’t rein it in, slow it down, get my wolf under control- the rush was too strong, clouding my rationality.

When I finally did stop, Brooke freaked the fuck out. I’ve never seen her like that before. And then, like an idiot, I kissed her, thinking that would make it better somehow.

I’ve kissed a lot of girls, but I’veneverhad a kiss like that. The moment our lips connected it was like goddamn explosion. Who would’ve thought that something as simple as a kiss could feel so fucking euphoric? I could’ve stayed there forever on the side of that road, holding Brooke, kissing her…

But she pushed me away. Screamed at me. Told me what she really thought of me. And then I left her.

I should’ve gone back. Shouldn’t have left her in the first place. I know that now, but I wasn’t thinking straight in the moment- I have a short fuse and I fucking lost it. I drove off, went directly to the bar, started pounding whiskey shots like it was my goddamn job. Got absolutely fucking wasted.

Everything’s hazier after that. I vaguely remember coming back to the dorms, seeing Brooke on the other end of the hallway…

Fuck.

Sutton was at the bar in Goldenleaf. She walked back with me, tried to get me to come to her room and fuck her. A few weeks ago, I might’ve, but things are different now. EvenI’mnot that big of a prick. I kept trying to tell her to get lost, and then I saw Brooke.

It must’ve looked bad.Really fucking bad. The last thing I remember is snapping at Sutton to get the fuck away from me, her calling me an asshole and storming off as I staggered up to my door and found Brooke’s jacket hanging on the knob. That’s when it really hit me how colossally I fucked things up with her- when I picked up her jacket, breathed in that intoxicating scent of coconut and rain. I opened my door, threw the fucking jacket across the room. It crashed into something- the lamp. And then I flopped down onto my bed and lay there feeling sorry for myself until I passed out.

I feel like shit, and not only because I’m hung over. I’m man enough to admit that Brooke was the best fucking thing that ever happened to me- and I totally blew it. I always knew I would, but I guess I just thought I had more time.

As much as her words stung, she wasn’t wrong. That’s the most frustrating part of this whole thing- I’ve always needed someone to call me on my bullshit, but I couldn’t handle it when she did. Even if it was all true, it still fucking hurt to hear it from Brooke. I know what other people think of me, but I thought she saw me differently, thought more of me. Saw me for who I could be instead of just the fuck-up that I am.

Not that I proved her wrong after that. I shouldn’t have driven away. I should’ve stayed there, sorted things out with her. Instead, I did what I always do- bailed when things got hard.

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